Choosing an Egg Donor: A Focus on Family Fit and Intelligence When hopeful parents decide to use an egg donor, we encourage them to seek someone who not only meets their physical and medical criteria but also feels like a natural fit for their family. Many intended parents we work with have impressive academic backgrounds, which can lead to concerns about "losing" a genetic connection to their child's intelligence. This often raises questions about the role of genetics in intelligence: Can intelligence be inherited? At Donor Concierge, we recognize that "smart" egg donors come in many forms—whether it’s an Ivy League graduate, an entrepreneur who left school to start her own business, or a donor with an advanced degree. The Reality of Intelligence and Genetics First and foremost, the primary consideration when selecting an egg donor should always be the health and well-being of the donor. However, it’s understandable that parents want to see aspects of themselves reflected in their children. Intelligence, a complex and multifaceted aspect of human cognition, is influenced by both genetic and environmental factors. So, how do the intelligence levels of parents impact that of their child? According to Donor Concierge’s founder, Gail Sexton Anderson, the short answer is reassuring: “If we take an egg from a reasonably intelligent woman and fertilize it with sperm from a reasonably intelligent man, the resulting child is likely to be intelligent. Raised in an environment that values academic achievement, this child is likely to thrive.” But, as always, the long answer is a bit more nuanced. Understanding the Genetics of Intelligence To better understand how genetics influences traits like intelligence, researchers often turn to twin and adoption studies. Identical twins share virtually 100% of their genes and the same environment, while fraternal twins share about 50% of their genes and the same environment. If a trait is highly genetic, identical twins should exhibit it more consistently than fraternal twins. Adoption studies, on the other hand, help scientists determine whether adopted children resemble their biological parents (genetics) or adoptive parents (environment) more closely in certain traits. These studies suggest that approximately 50% of the variance in intelligence can be attributed to inherited genetic factors, while the remaining 50% is influenced by environmental factors such as parenting, education, home and school environments, access to resources, and nutrition. There are likely hundreds or even thousands of genes that each play a small role in determining intelligence, most of which remain unidentified. Given the complexity and interplay of these genetic and environmental factors, it’s unlikely that genetic testing will accurately predict intelligence in the near future. Beyond Intelligence: What Really Matters Intelligence is often linked with high academic achievement, but other multifactorial traits—such as self-motivation, emotional intelligence, personality, and curiosity—also play significant roles. Some research even suggests that high academic achievement may be more heritable than intelligence alone. However, academic success is also heavily influenced by socioeconomic factors like income, access to education, opportunities, perceived social status, and privilege. Our Perspective At Donor Concierge, we recognize that "smart" egg donors come in many forms—whether it’s an Ivy League graduate, an entrepreneur who left school to start her own business, or a donor with an advanced degree. Intelligence and academic achievement are shaped by a variety of factors beyond test scores and educational backgrounds. Our goal is to help you find an egg donor who not only fits into your family but is also healthy and willing to undergo the donation process. With decades of experience guiding parents through their egg donor search, we’re confident in our ability to match you with the best donor for your family.

Back in 2012, our founder, Gail Sexton Anderson, shared her thoughts on the elusive Ivy League egg donor. Now, over a decade later, our Director of Case Management, Bonnie Douglas , revisits this topic, shedding new light on the realities and dispelling the myths surrounding Ivy League egg donors. Join us as we explore how the landscape has evolved and what it means for intended parents today. Intended parents frequently reach out to Donor Concierge in hopes of finding an Ivy League egg donor. As Gail noted, it is not surprising, nor is it a case of people seeking a "designer baby." In fact, most intended parents we work with have advanced degrees from prestigious universities and they often seek donors who resemble themselves in terms of academic achievement. However, the reality is that very few egg donors are women from Ivy League schools. There are several reasons why women attending Ivy League schools typically do not choose to become egg donors: Lack of Financial Incentive: Women at Ivy League schools may not need the financial compensation that comes with egg donation. Time Constraints: The demanding schedules and rigorous academic commitments leave little time for the egg donation process. Family Influence: Their families may not support the idea of egg donation. Social Perception: Egg donation may not be socially acceptable among their peers. As was the case a decade ago, and is even more relevant today, Ivy League donors tend to be more stressed than the average egg donor. High stress levels can negatively impact an IVF cycle, causing donors to respond poorly to medication. It’s also important to mention that donors in top schools and/or with very high test scores can typically garner extraordinarily high compensation. While it is possible to find a donor with exceptional SAT scores attending a Top 100 university, such donors are rare. Instead, what is more commonly available are college-educated women who are bright, look like they could fit into your family, and who are eager to help you build your family. At Donor Concierge, we have access to more egg donors than anyone in the world. If these Ivy League donors are out there, we will find them. In most cases, however, if we take an egg from a reasonably intelligent female and fertilize it with sperm from a reasonably intelligent male, the resulting child is likely to be intelligent. Raised in a family of high academic achievers, this child is likely to thrive. Still, finding an egg donor involves relinquishing some control, control over how you envisioned having children, and allowing the process to unfold with the support of many people: your Donor Concierge case manager, your egg donor, the agency, fertility clinic staff, and your doctor. Ultimately, you will be the one to raise, educate, and love this child. While genetics plays a role in intelligence, the influence of loving and supportive parents is immeasurable in shaping a young mind.

Our founder, Gail Sexton Anderson, sat down with our former client, Jennifer Duneier, to talk about her fertility journey as a single mother, and how her story can inspire other hopeful parents as they embark on their own family-building journey. Jennifer is the proud mother of twin 7-year-old boys as well as an accomplished interior designer. Her design projects have been featured on HGTV, Good Morning America, and Fox News. She has been very open about her search for an egg donor, sperm donor and surrogate, and she is happy to share her knowledge with others. Here are some of the highlights from Gail’s interview. Gail: Do you mind sharing a little about yourself and your story? Jennifer: I’m now 54. The entire journey started when I was 24 and I had a radical hysterectomy due to some pretty severe endometriosis. I always knew that I couldn't have children, and that really sort of guided most of my life decisions. I married somebody who was older and was never going to expect children. At the time, technology just wasn't what it is today and the ability to create a family didn't exist unless you could adopt. My husband already had kids, so I just sort of became a step-parent, and that was fine. Then when I was 46, my father passed away and something switched. I was like, oh my God, I've missed an entire chapter of my life, and yet still young enough and vibrant enough to have a family. I talked to my husband about that and he said, “I'm too old. I can't do it again.” We made a very painful decision to separate. So, I went down this path by myself, and, because of my hysterectomy and no spouse in the picture, I had to do all the elements – I had to do sperm donor, egg donor, and surrogate to piece the entire puzzle together. So it was a long journey and Donor Concierge was amazing through it. I wouldn't be here with my two little 7-year-old terrorists if it wasn't for you. Gail: Well, I enjoyed being on that journey with you. Jennifer: You guys were great. I took a couple of turns at one point - there was somebody involved who was going to be the father and the sperm side of the equation - and that didn't quite work out. Everything happens for a reason. That would be my advice to anybody on this journey. Just know that everything happens for a reason. There's light at the end of the tunnel. That might not be the tunnel you thought you were on, but there's always a way. That would be my advice to anybody on this journey. Just know that everything happens for a reason. There's light at the end of the tunnel. That might not be the tunnel you thought you were on, but there's always a way. Gail: How did you find Donor Concierge? Jennifer: I was referred to by a friend. The second you put it out there, everybody has a doctor, everybody has a person, etc. And sure enough, someone said, I have a friend who's been on this journey and they've had a ton of heartbreak. You should just talk to them before going any further just so you can fully understand all the things that could go on. So, I called her and I believe she was working with Donor Concierge. She told me her very long story and how Donor Concierge stayed with her through all of the ups and downs and the twists and turns. So to me, it was a no-brainer. You need a team when you go through something like this. Gail: Right. Especially because needing all three elements on its own is fairly complicated, but when you need all three, it's that much more complicated. Jennifer: Right? I suppose you could go through the clinic, but I never loved that idea because you didn’t have much say. I like a little control, even though there's no control at all in this process. Gail: How did you choose your egg donor? Jennifer: In my opinion, the egg donor was sort of replacing my DNA. So I wanted somebody with similar coloring, somebody creative, and just a good sense of humor. And that was my guideline. The person I was engaged with at the time wanted Ivy and SAT scores and all this other stuff. But to me, that is the parent's role. If somebody got great SAT scores, it’s probably because they had a tutor to help them study for the SAT. You know what I mean? So I've never really based my decisions on things like that. So once that situation was over, I called Donor Concierge and said “Here are the parameters; blonde hair, blue eyes, nice, and has proven fertility.” At that point, we had gone through three or four egg donors - none, which worked out. In the end, it was good for me because, ultimately, I chose one that met my criteria and then it was very smooth sailing. Gail: That's why I always tell people to fall in LIKE, don't fall in LOVE. Because if anything can go wrong, and unfortunately it often does go wrong, you need to be able to let go of that. Jennifer: We went through three contracts and once you're in contract, then you have to do all the medical evaluations and all that stuff. Gail: So how about your sperm donor? Jennifer: So the sperm donor was the fastest of all the processes. I remember calling you guys and saying, okay, we've got this adorable egg donor (creative type, five-six, etc.). Let's balance that out with somebody who's tall and has a higher education. I was sent three options. One had the code name Rainier. Before my father passed, he was living in a cabin on the side of Mount Rainier. And so to me, that was a little sign. Gail: I think it's not unusual to have something like that as the deciding factor. Jennifer: From the area, blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, Norwegian, plays tennis. I love tennis. Whatever the things were, I figured it would balance out the egg donor nicely. Gail: And then the surrogate? Jennifer: So that was a very interesting process. I didn't know that I was going to have to create a profile for the surrogate to choose, kind of like a dating app. You gotta do the pictures and this will be the baby's house, etc. I panicked because I already had an egg donor and a sperm donor. Is a surrogate going to put her life at risk for a single mother living in New York from a broken apartment? So I thought it was going to take a long time. And then I got three or four profiles sent to me of girls who were willing to do it, and one stood out. And I just liked her and her family. I felt like she'd be okay comfortably carrying, and handing over, the child - all the things that you worry about. She was done with her family-making, and I could tell she had her family's support, and that's part of why I chose her. I also was limited to one state because of my no genetic tie scenario. I could only have a surrogate in California to definitely be on the birth certificate, which was very important to me. I didn't want to go through all of this and then have to try and adopt my own child. That wasn't going to be how it went. Gail: There are a few other states now that also offer that, but I remember at the time that I was checking with the attorneys that we work with, and they're like, here are your options. Jennifer: It was very complex and very limited in scope as to where I could choose from. And ultimately, she lived one exit away from my sister on the freeway. So it became very convenient.I would fly from New York every month for all of our doctor's appointments and stay at my sister's. And I got to be at all the ultrasounds, and it was great. We built a really nice friendship and relationship through that. Gail: That's always really nice. It is a much more interactive situation than choosing an egg donor or sperm donor whom you don't normally get a chance to meet.And so what was your experience like with Donor Concierge? Jennifer: You were amazing. Every decision seems like the biggest decision in your entire life, and quite possibly the most money you're going to spend on something like that in your entire life. My process was incredibly expensive and most people have not had the good fortune to be able to do that. But at the time, I was divorced and I had a certain amount I could spend, so I was very conscious about it. You guys just held my hand. And every time a wrench was thrown into the mix, you would calmly talk me through it - This is what we do next, or this is our workaround, or whatever. And you were so patient and so kind, and so supportive. I always felt like I was a part of your family and I could call anybody and you guys would take care of me. And I had felt so much like I was on an island by myself during that process. And you guys were just amazing. You never offered judgment against any opinions I had. You really gave very calm advice. Gail: It’s great to hear that. Our goal is to be your advocate and liaison through this process. We've done this thousands of times and we always say, you don't know what you don't know, because that's true until you encounter it. And every once in a while, there are things that throw us a loop too, but we have more resources. Jennifer: I was in New York, so how would I have known any facilities in California to go to and go, you know what I mean? And the attorneys that you recommend. All of it. You really are a concierge service for all of it. Gail: So what would you say the most joyful part of the process was? Jennifer: Oh, the most joyful thing was really getting to know my surrogate and her family. It was the relationships that I was able to build on the journey. Aside, of course, from having a child, it was the friendships I made and the comfort that I felt on that path. Gail: What was the most unexpected? Jennifer: The most unexpected was for sure all the twists and turns and the setbacks with the various egg donors for various reasons. Because you don't expect that. Gail: So, I know one unexpected thing was, and kind of a big bonus, was the twins. Jennifer: Yeah, that was definitely a shock, but a blessing. I mean, certainly a challenge, but a blessing. Gail: I know twins are a lot, but I was just so happy to hear that you got this bonus of two. Jennifer: I could have never done it twice. I could have never afforded it twice. I could have never had a second surrogate. None of that. So I'm thrilled with my result. They were both in the hospital for a long time. That's the one downside to twins, most likely you're going to have some NICU time. And so that was very difficult. But they’re seven and a half now and very healthy, and it was just something we had to move through. Gail: So are you in touch with anyone else who has created their family through a third-party donor surrogate? Jennifer: Oh, so many. Also, my remaining embryos have gone to somebody that I know, and I believe they also used you to help find their surrogate. That's the thing about being on this journey, once you're on it, you just meet so many people who are also on it. And the amount of teams in the country that are really good at what they do is limited, in my opinion. So everyone circles through the same top tier people. And of course, Donor Concierge is one of the top. I know several people who have used you. Everybody's been happy. One of the best things that has happened is when you called me and said, “Would you mind talking to an intended family? They just need someone who's been through it to talk to.” And I love talking to those people. I love it. Gail: I'm excited that you donated to your remaining embryos. After all, I just think that is a huge pay-it-forward because most of the people that I talk to who've been through this process are very open to that. In fact, I am now on board for an organization called Empower, which helps to educate people who are either thinking about looking for donated embryos or want to donate their remaining embryos. And so it's a great organization and I feel really good and positive about that. So is there any advice that you would like to share with hopeful parents who are considering this route? Jennifer: Just know that it's all worth it. It's a very hard journey, even if everything goes the way it's supposed to. It's a very hard journey because you're putting control of your future child in somebody else's hands. You just have to have a little faith, and you have to know that ultimately it's going to work out. Obviously, hire Donor Concierge without question. Because you guys are the best. And then take their advice. Take the people that you hire and engage to do this for you, whether it's to a fertility doctor or your attorneys or whatever. Hopefully, you did your research and you trust them to give you good advice and listen to their advice. Listen to their cues. Because even when Donor Concierge didn't come straight out and give me a yes or a no, you still advised on the way you would approach the scenario. Gail: Right. We give you all the information because you have to make the decision. We can't make it for you. Well, thank you, Jennifer. I really appreciate your time, and it's been so great to be able to catch up with you. Jennifer: Oh, you're welcome. My pleasure. My pleasure. My story: Finding an Egg Donor, Sperm Donor and Surrogate

For highly educated intended parents building their families via sperm donation, they are typically seeking a sperm donor who mirrors the qualities they share. That's why we are often asked, "Can I find an Ivy League sperm donor?" Many different factors are important to consider when choosing a sperm donor, including health, ethnic heritage, physical appearance, family health history, and personal values. But often, inner values like personality and intelligence are more sought after than physical traits. Each family has different priorities on their sperm donor search, and our team tailors each sperm donor search to find the best match for you. If you’re looking for a highly educated sperm donor to build your family, we can help. Can I find an Ivy League sperm donor? We find the best sperm donors for your family, and we have helped hopeful parents match with sperm donors of many different backgrounds. There are many intelligent, accomplished men who are open to donating sperm to help you build your family, and we have helped Donor Concierge clients match with highly educated sperm donors. However, finding an Ivy League sperm donor may be challenging. Pursuing an Ivy League education is a serious pursuit, and it requires students to commit their time, ambition, resources and energy. The sperm donation process is also a serious commitment, and many students or those embarking on intensive careers may not be interested in or able to undertake the donation process. Finding your sperm donor Intended parents pursuing sperm donation are seeking a sperm donor whose physical attributes and background would fit well into their family. Hopeful parents with impressive educational backgrounds or Ivy League degrees often hope to find the same in their sperm donor. If educational background is one of your top priorities, you may need to commit more time and resources to a tailored sperm donor search. Typically, highly educated or Ivy League graduates will ask for a higher compensation during the sperm donation process. Highly educated sperm donor compensation may be above $15,000, depending on a number of factors. Men with impressive backgrounds academically will often extensively research the sperm donation process, and they will review what those similar to themselves typically receive in compensation. Being able to offer a higher compensation than the “average” sperm donation compensation and being patient through the search will help you find the best possible sperm donor. Keep in mind There are many intelligent, educated men open to sperm donation Not everyone has had the opportunity to attend an Ivy League institution There are many types of intelligence Think about sperm donor candidates holistically, beyond just academics Often, the traits hopeful parents seek in their donor are the traits they will instill in their children as they grow up. We know that loving parents who raise their children to value education, artistic pursuits, hard work or integrity will be rewarded by the result of their parenting. Nurture and nature are balanced factors in who your child may grow up to be. We know how important values such as education are, and we know we can help you find the best possible sperm donor to bring your child into the world. Interested in building your family with Donor Concierge? Schedule your free consultation today .

What is the egg donation process? We're breaking it down. The Donor Concierge Egg Donor Search Process: Below is a brief overview of the Donor Concierge egg donor process. Donor Concierge consultation. We begin the egg donor search with a free consultation. During this conversation, one of our expert case managers will discuss your needs, what you are looking for, and more. Searching for your egg donorAfter signing up with Donor Concierge, your case manager will discuss your priorities, considerations and unique criteria in depth. Your egg donor search will take approximately two weeks, during which your case manager will be searching thousands of donors within our network of egg donor agency, egg bank, and clinic partners. Reserving Your Egg DonorAfter you select your egg donor, you will begin the matching phase with your egg donor's agency or clinic. This is where the legal process and medical process will begin. The Egg Donor Cycle The egg donor cycle is a complex medical process for the egg donor and recipients, and it is carefully overseen by your doctor and fertility team. In sum, the egg donation process typically involves these steps: Your egg donor prepares for retrieval with medication. If you are doing a fresh egg donor cycle, the recipient may also take medication to sync cycles. Your egg donor will then take hormone injections to stimulate egg production To prepare for the egg retrieval procedure, your egg donor will take a "trigger shot," or hormonal injection Next, your egg donor will go through the retrieval process in which mature eggs are extracted After retrieval, your donor will need to rest and recover Your fertility clinic will introduce sperm to the retrieved eggs in a petri dish, either through intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) or natural fertilization Next is typically a wait period so that the eggs time to fertilize, and they may be frozen and/or tested during this time After the embryos have had time to develop, they are transferred into the recipient's uterus For a a more in-depth breakdown of the above process, check out the information on our dedicated egg donation page or on our blog . Interested in building your family with Donor Concierge? Schedule your free consultation today .

Fertility treatments in the U.S. can be quite costly, and many hopeful parents wonder: "How can I reduce fertility treatment costs?" Whether you are pursuing IVF, IUI, egg donation, sperm donation, or surrogacy, we want to help hopeful parents find all of the fertility funding resources they need. Read on for a list of options to save money during the fertility process. Cost can be a huge barrier to fertility treatments for many hopeful parents. IVF is often expensive, and the cost of egg donation, sperm donation or surrogacy can add on additional fees. We have many resources breaking down egg donor cost , sperm donation cost, and surrogacy cost , but we also want to share as many funding resources with hopeful parents as possible. We recommend starting with insurance - many companies are expanding to offer employees fertility benefits, which can significantly reduce your fertility treatment costs. If you don't have coverage for fertility treatments, check out our piece from the team at Carrot breaking down how to ask your employer for fertility benefits . Next, we recommend seeking out fertility grants. There are many companies that offer grants to help cover fertility funding. Some are open to hopeful parents from all backgrounds, and some apply to parents in certain geographic regions or backgrounds. We recommend browsing them to find which fertility grants you may qualify for. Finally, there are companies dedicated to fertility financing. We recently partnered with Sunfish, a fertility financing company, which offers financing options for fertility treatments. Below, you can find a list of fertility grants, fertility insurance companies, fertility financing loans, and more. We hope these resources are helpful to you as you pursue your fertility journey. Fertility Resources and Information American Society for Reproductive Medicine The Broken Brown Egg Hasidah Resolve Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy Gays With Kids Fertility grants ACG Scholarship Foundation Aneden Gives Angels of Hope Foundation Baby Quest Foundation The Cade Foundation The Chicago Coalition for Family Building The CNY Fertility and IVF Grant The Family Formation Charitable Trust Feit 4 KidZ Fertility Loan Foundation Fertility for Colored Girls Footsteps for Fertility Gift of Parenthood Foundation Hasidah The Hope for Fertility Foundation Journey to Parenthood Grant The Latoya and Joe Dawkins Miracle Child Foundation LiveStrong Foundation Men Having Babies Foundation Nest Egg Foundation Northern California Fertility Foundation Parental Hope Roaring Adventures The Samantha and Kyle Busch Bundle of Joy Fund The Samfund Grant Sarah’s Laughter Starfish Fertility Foundation Tree of Life Specialized Fertility Benefits Carrot Fertility Kindbody Progyny Fertility Loans Sunfish CapexMD EggFund EmBorrow Future Family New Life Fertility Finance Lightstream Prosper Healthcare Lending Interested in building your family with Donor Concierge? Schedule your free consultation today .

If you are beginning your sperm donation journey, you are probably asking these questions: “How much does it cost to use a sperm donor? Where can I find a sperm donor? How can I get pregnant via sperm donation? We have been helping hopeful parents find sperm donors and refining our Sperm Donor Search service for years. We know that finding a sperm donor can be difficult to navigate, and intended parents often come to us with many questions before signing up for our Sperm Donor Search service . Our job is to walk you through every step of the process so that not only do you find a sperm donor, but you feel prepared and confident for your sperm donation journey. We are answering the top sperm donation questions below. Need more help or interested in finding a sperm donor today? Schedule a free consultation with a Donor Concierge case manager. How much does sperm donation cost? Sperm donation can range from under $1000 for at-home insemination to $50,000+ if you are pursuing IVF or IUI with donor sperm. This cost includes clinic fees, egg retrieval, medications, embryo creation and transfer. How long will the sperm donor search take? The search can take anywhere from 2-3 weeks depending on your criteria. How many vials does a doctor require? For IUI, it is usually recommended you purchase at least 3 vials. As you may need to do more than one IUI cycle for a successful pregnancy. For IVF, usually 1-2 vials. Extra vials are helpful to ensure you have backup if the first vial doesn’t thaw properly or if you want to do a sibling cycle in the future. What type of vials should I purchase? If you are doing IVF or an egg donor cycle it doesn’t matter which type of specimen you purchase. If you are planning on doing an IUI cycle then you would need to purchase ICI for home insemination or washed for IUI at your clinic. How do I know how many children the sperm donor may have out there? Intended parents are required to report to the cryobanks if there is a pregnancy. Once the sperm donor has created 25 pregnancies they will retire the donor. Will I be able to see photos of my sperm donor? Most cryobanks have at least childhood photos. There are a few that have adult photos but this is up to the sperm donor to provide. Can I ask to see more photos of the donor? Unfortunately, each cryobank has its own policies in regard to photographs. Once the donor has completed his donation, we cannot ask the cryobank contact the donor for additional photos. What information is on the sperm donor profile? The profiles contain the donor’s education background, health history for the donor and his immediate family, genetic testing results, basic physical information, open-ended essay questions, staff impressions, ancestry, and usually a photo (childhood, adult or a silhouette) What genetic carrier statuses are available for sperm donors? This depends on when the sperm donor had his screening done. In the last 2-3 years the cryobanks will test up to 100 to 200 carrier statuses. If the donor had his screening done prior to this they would test for Tay Sachs, Cystic Fibrosis, SMA, and Thalassemia. If the donor is of Jewish descent they will complete an Ashkenazi panel as well. Do they verify sperm donor educational scores? All FDA approved cryobanks are required to verify sperm donor test scores and educational background. The donor needs to provide the cryobank with transcripts. How many sperm banks do you work with? And why do you work with them? We only work with FDA approved cryobanks, and we work with between 10-20 sperm donor bank partners. Fertility clinics only work with sperm donors who have passed full FDA testing requirements. Why is it important to know my CMV status? If you are doing IUI, you must know your CMV status. If you are CMV+ you can likely use CMV+/- sperm donors. If you are CMV-, you can only use CMV- donors. If you are doing IVF, some doctors will allow you to use any CMV +/- donors. Please check with your doctor on their preference before the search. How much is the Donor Concierge Sperm Donor Search service? What is included in your service? Our sperm search is $3000. This is a full sweep of all of the cryobanks we work with. Can you find a sperm donor who is open to contact with me and my child? Yes, there are an increasing number of sperm donors now who are Open ID, which means they are open to contact when the child is a legal adult (age 18). Can I meet the sperm donor before selecting them? No. Sperm banks will gather non-identifying medical and personal information from sperm donors and share that information with clients. But due to privacy policies, they share that information in a way that does not identify the donors. Do sperm donors check in with the sperm bank/clinic to update their medical history? The sperm banks regularly reach out to past donors for confidential updates on their medical and personal information. Donors who wish to update their information contact the bank to update and they publish relevant updated information on the donor’s summary profile. I want to find an exclusive sperm donor. Can you help? Yes, Donor Concierge offers direct search services that can find sperm donors willing to be exclusive. Please contact us for more details. Interested in finding your sperm donor with Donor Concierge? Schedule your free consultation today .

Our team has decades of experience working with hopeful parents seeking egg donors, sperm donors, surrogates to start their families. We know the egg donation process can feel overwhelming, especially with few friends or family members to talk to who have taken this path. That’s why we’re sharing the five fears we hear from hopeful parents, and the five pieces of advice we often share with our egg donor search clients. When do you know that egg donation is the right decision? Donor conception is a leap of faith. It might feel scary, but you aren’t going in blind. Many hopeful parents who are facing fertility struggles and considering egg donation have the same question: “When do you know that donor conception is the right decision?” There is no single way to know that donor conception is right for you. It may take discussions with your a specialized therapist to work through the grief that infertility can bring. With the support of Donor Concierge , clients can feel comfortable moving forward. We are dedicated to ensuring hopeful parents feel empowered with knowledge about the egg donation process and armed with as many resources as possible. Will I have problems connecting with my child? Connection doesn’t come from genetics, it comes from parenting. Hopeful parents are often afraid that there may be issues of bonding with their donor-conceived child. It is an incredibly common fear for parents who have faced fertility issues, and who may already have lingering anxieties due to infertility. Nearly all of our past clients have described a similar experience: feeling their fears about connection “disappear” as they experience the birth of their child and an overwhelming sense of love. As a parent, you will feel connected to your child regardless of their genetics. You can ensure that they feel proud of their unique conception story, too. Parenting them with love, openness, and support will help them celebrate their unique origins. Will my child feel closer to my partner, their genetic parent? Genetics don’t control your child’s love for you. Another fear that hopeful parents express is that their child may bond with their genetic parent more easily. This is a concern that parents via donor egg IVF typically share. Ultimately, nature and nurture are both important factors, and spending quality time with your child will play a more important role in bonding than anything else. Camille Guaty, who welcomed her son via egg donation, expressed how this fear disappeared for her : “There is not a second that goes by that this isn’t my baby. He has my personality, he smiles all the time like me. I think it’s okay to have those thoughts, and it’s totally natural.” Will having a second child via egg donation be difficult? Many couples experience secondary infertility, and there are tools to support you. Many couples have different conception stories for their different children. Today, there is no single “typical” family, and modern families of all kinds are happy, healthy and connected. We encourage openness with your children so that they know they are celebrated as an important part of your family and proud of their unique conception. Working with a fertility therapist, joining a support group, or reading books on parenting donor-conceived children might make you feel more confident in approaching these conversations. At the end of the day, the love and support you show for your children will be what connects your family. How can I find the perfect egg donor? The perfect egg donor candidate is the egg donor who is healthy, available, and happy to donate to help start your family. Many couples and single parents via egg donation are simply looking for a healthy woman who is happy to donate her eggs to help start a family. Others might have specific criteria in mind, like an egg donor of a specific ethnic background, a blonde egg donor, or even an intelligent egg donor with a specific academic background . Donor Concierge has extensive experience finding the best egg donor candidates for our clients, but we always remind clients that each egg donor is a unique individual who is choosing to go through this process to help you. Ultimately, the perfect egg donor for you will be the one who is healthy and available , and who feels like the best holistic fit for your family. We hope this helps ease any concerns you may have as you consider the egg donation process. While every hopeful parent is different, there are many who have taken this path and often had similar concerns about the egg donation process. You are not alone, and we are always here to help. Interested in finding your egg donor with Donor Concierge? Schedule your free consultation today .

Exciting news: we've partnered with Carrot Fertility ! We're working together to bridge gaps in fertility access by bringing third-party fertility coverage to more hopeful parents. If fertility benefits feel out of reach, Carrot Fertility is here to help. To kick things off, they're sharing their expert advice to help YOU advocate for fertility coverage. Read on! If you’ve had to take out a loan or ask family for support funding your egg donor search or gestational carrier (commonly known as surrogacy) journey, you’re not alone. Donor-assisted reproduction is expensive and rarely covered by insurance. To help close the gap, some employers offer fertility and family-forming benefits. These benefits provide financial and logistical support for fertility care and other family-building services. Want to get your employer on board? Asking for fertility benefits can be daunting but with a bit of preparation about how they work — and how they can benefit your company — you can make a strong case for yourself and your colleagues. Step 1: Know that your HR team wants to hear from you If you’re feeling nervous, it’s helpful to remember that many benefits programs get off the ground because of employee demand. Especially in a competitive job market, HR teams want to create employee benefits packages that meet the needs of their existing employees and make the company more attractive to job seekers. In other words, assuming your HR team is committed to creating the best benefits package they can, they want to hear from you. Step 2: Gather your evidence Data is important to HR teams. They might ask questions like, how many people would use a potential new benefit? How much will it cost? How does it impact their bottom line? While you don’t need to go into your meeting with a PowerPoint deck and spreadsheet prepared, having a few numbers in your back pocket can help support your request. Here are some powerful stats to consider sharing: Infertility is common. One in eight couples are affected by infertility in the United States. Medical infertility isn’t the only reason people seek out fertility and family-forming care and services. 63% of LGBTQ+ couples and individuals plan to use donor-assisted reproduction such as donor-assisted reproduction and gestational carrier (GC) services to grow their families. Offering fertility benefits can help improve employee recruitment and retention . 88% of respondents in Carrot’s Fertility at Work survey would change jobs for fertility benefits — and 77% would stay at a company longer if they had access to fertility benefits. Just 24% of companies offer fertility benefits and even fewer include coverage beyond in vitro fertilization (IVF). Offering an inclusive fertility benefit that covers donor-assisted reproduction and adoption can help your employer stand out even more. Many employees don’t feel comfortable discussing fertility and family forming at work. If you’re the only person approaching HR about this topic, that doesn’t mean you’re the only one going through it. Nearly a third of respondents wouldn’t feel comfortable asking for fertility benefits at work. Besides data, personal stories are powerful, too, but it’s understandable if you don’t feel comfortable getting into the details of your own. Instead, you can share examples of parenthood journeys a fertility benefit can support. For example, Carrot Fertility shared a series of personal stories for National Infertility Awareness Week that highlight some of the ways fertility benefits impact employees. Step 3: Get specific about the support you want — but let your HR team know there are flexible options Though fertility benefits are growing in popularity, your HR team may not necessarily be familiar with them. They may also associate fertility benefits with egg freezing or IVF support, leaving out services like sperm freezing, donor-assisted reproduction, and GC services. When discussing fertility benefits with your company, share that to be truly inclusive of all paths to parenthood, their fertility benefit should include support for IVF, IUI, donor-assisted reproduction, GC services, and adoption. Your HR team may also be under the impression that fertility benefits are too expensive, especially if your company is on the smaller side. While some large companies do make a significant investment in fertility benefits, solutions like Carrot Fertility also offer flexible options that can expand as a company grows. Step 4: Consider finding allies. There’s power in numbers, so if you can, consider enlisting other employees when you make your request. If your company has employee resource groups (ERGs), they can be a great liaison between employees and HR teams. ERGs are employee-led groups of individuals with a shared identity or experience. Some common ERGs include: Culture, race, and ethnicity People with disabilities Women Religion or faith Gender identity Sexual orientation Parenting If your company doesn’t have ERGs, another option is to join forces with a co-worker who agrees that fertility and family-forming benefits are important — even if they’re personally not going through a family-forming journey. Surveys show that when companies offer fertility benefits, just knowing they’re available boosts morale even for those who aren’t planning to grow their families. Finding an egg donor or GC takes time, money, and patience. Employers can help by providing fertility benefits that are inclusive of all paths to parenthood. It can be intimidating to start the conversation, but advocating for fertility benefits at your company could mean that both you and your colleagues can access the family-forming care and services you need. About Carrot Fertility: Carrot Fertility is the leading global fertility benefits provider for employers and health plans, built to support people through their entire family-forming fertility journey. If your employer offers Carrot Fertility, you have access to discounts with Donor Concierge/Tulip. Want to request Carrot at your company? Fill out our request form and we’ll be happy to reach out to your HR team on your behalf.

When hopeful parents decide to use an egg donor, we encourage them to look for someone who fits well into their family . Many of the intended parents we work with have impressive academic backgrounds. As they face the reality that they are "losing" a genetic connection to their child, they look for an egg donor who is also a high achiever. This sometimes prompts questions around education, achievement, and intelligence: is intelligence passed down genetically? Setting the Record StraightFirst things first: Each parent’s top priority when searching for an egg donor should be finding a woman who is healthy and happy to donate her eggs. But we know it’s natural for parents to want to see themselves in their children. As a complex part of human cognition, intelligence is impacted by both genetic and other factors. So how does the intelligence of parents impact the intelligence of a child? Donor Concierge’s founder, Gail Sexton Anderson, shared the short answer: “In most cases if we take an egg from a reasonably intelligent female, fertilized by a reasonably intelligent male, you will have an intelligent child. This child will then be raised in a family of high academic achievers and is likely to do very well in this environment.” The long answer? It’s complicated! We went straight to the experts – Genetic Counselors Gena Shepherd and Emily Mounts of ORM Fertility . They’ve broken it all down below! Our clients often seek donors with high academic achievement. Should they be concerned with the heritability of intelligence?Gena and Emily: “For many years, scientists have attempted to crack the genetic code of intelligence—a lofty goal, as even defining the concept of intelligence is challenging. Most complex traits like intelligence are multifactorial, meaning that both genetic and environmental factors contribute to differences between individuals. To determine how our genes influence multifactorial traits, scientists often turn to twin and adoption studies. Identical twins share the same environment and virtually 100% of their genes, while fraternal twins share their environment, and about 50% of their genes. If a trait is highly genetic, identical twins should share that trait (ex. high IQ) more often than fraternal twins. Adoption studies examine whether children who are adopted have traits that are more similar to their adoptive parents (environment) or their biological parents (genetics). Twin and adoption studies have led researchers to believe that about 50% of the variance in intelligence is due to inherited genetic factors, while the remaining 50% is related to differences in environment (eg. parenting, education, home and school environment, access to resources, nutrition).(1) There are likely hundreds, if not thousands, of genes that all have a small effect on intelligence, most of which have not yet been identified. (1) Considering the number of genes involved, as well as the influence of non-genetic factors, it is unlikely that genetic testing will be able to accurately predict intelligence at any point soon. Intelligence is correlated with high academic achievement; however, multiple other multifactorial traits likely also play a role, including self-motivation, emotional intelligence, personality, and curiosity. (2) Some studies have indicated that high academic achievement may be even more “heritable” than intelligence alone.(2) However, academic achievement is also known to be influenced by many socioeconomic factors including income and financial security, access to education, opportunity, perceived social status/class, and privilege. (3) ” Our take? Smart egg donors come in many forms – that may be an ivy-league donor, someone who left school and started her own business, or maybe an egg donor with a master’s degree. Each of us is unique in our experience, and our intelligence is shaped by more than our test scores and the school we attended. Our goal is to help you match with an egg donor who fits into your family, and who is healthy and willing to undergo the egg donation process. We have decades of experience guiding parents on their egg donor search, and we know we can find you the best egg donor for your family. References: Genetics Home Reference . Created May 2015. National Institute of Health. Accessed June 2020. Krapohl E, Rimfeld K, Shakeshaft NG, et al. The high heritability of educational achievement reflects many genetically influenced traits, not just intelligence. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2014;111(42):15273-15278. doi:10.1073/pnas.1408777111 American Psychological Association . Created July 2017. Accessed June 2020.

Does Nature or Nurture Matter When Choosing an Egg Donor? Nature vs. Nurture has always been a hotly debated topic and in this age of third-party fertility, and can cause quite a bit of stress for intended parents. A large percentage of our clients are high achievers. Most have masters degrees, have studied at prestigious academic institutions and many are highly accomplished doctors, attorneys, CEOs, tech company managers, writers or banking executives. They often come from families where education is highly valued with parents and grandparents who also have advanced degrees. When choosing an egg donor they want to do their best to find a donor who is as bright and accomplished as they are . Finding an ivy league egg donor - someone who reminds you of yourself - can feel like yet another uphill fertility battle. I always tell my clients to find an egg donor who ‘fits into your family’ and these hopeful parents often look to a donor’s education as a measure of their future child’s intellectual standing. They’re not thinking “will this child measure up” but rather “will this child feel part of my intellectual tribe.” We know it’s not always easy to find an egg donor who matches that of the intended parent’s education levels . There are many reasons why high-achieving young women may not become egg donors. They may come from families that may not approve of egg donation, or perhaps these young women don’t have the financial need to pay off student loans. Many young women who choose to be donors may have grown up in families where they have been nurtured to achieve, but their parents may not have had the same educational opportunities. The problem with focussing on finding an ivy league donor is that most young women may not have had time to accomplish the same sorts of goals as our high-achieving intended parents. Choosing an egg donor is always a leap of faith. Our genetics make us who we are when it comes to our appearance, much of our health, and to some degree our psychological make up. But when it comes to one’s intellect, drive and ability to succeed in the world, nurture has the upper hand. We know that it’s been proven that talking to children and spending time helping them interact ultimately results in more socially developed and intellectually stimulated children.I saw this first hand when I was a research assistant at Yale. I was testing children who were born prematurely and of low birth weight. The goal of that study was to measure the effect of a specific drug administered immediately after birth but what was also observed was that children with parents who talked to and interacted with them from the time they were born showed the most progress. Most of the young women who choose to be egg donors are reasonably intelligent although they may not have attended one of the top 20 universities or have standardized test scores that are in the 99th percentile, as I’ve discussed in a previous post The Myth of The Ivy League Donor . If intended parents choose a donor who physically looks like she could fit into their family, has a good family health history, and is reasonably intelligent, that’s an excellent start. In most cases my clients have a significant other who is equally well educated (i.e. intelligent) who will make up the other half of the genetic equation. The resulting child or children will then be raised within a family where they will be exposed to intellectual stimulation and opportunities to learn and grow in an environment where education is valued. In his book Outliers , Malcolm Gladwell says, "It's not enough to ask what successful people are like. (...) It is only by asking where they are from that we can unravel the logic behind who succeeds and who doesn't. (2) One premise of this book is that people thrive and succeed because of their environment and the opportunities that they are exposed to. Another premise comes down to practice makes perfect. A violinist friend of mine gave me two books - The Talent Code: Greatness isn’t Born. It’s Grown. Here’s How-by Daniel Coyle and Nurtured by Love: The Classic Approach to Talent Education by Shinichi Suzuki . I had been sharing with her my desire to help ease the concerns of the intended parents that I assist in making one of the most difficult choices in their lives; the person who will take their place in their family’s gene pool? My friend has taught violin to students who have gone on to play at Lincoln Center and Carnegie Hall. She knows a thing or two about developing talent. Both of these books and her experience support the idea that it is not raw talent, intellect or nature that makes one shine and succeed but nurture. Nurture makes the difference. A while back, I read Proof of Heaven by Ebin Alexander . I bring this up not so much for the main message in his book but because what I learned about Ebin Alexander. He is a neurosurgeon just like his father, the man who adopted him as a baby. He later learned more about his birth parents who were bright but fairly average individuals, not brain surgeons like he and his father. He excelled and succeeded and grew up just like the father who raised him due to the love and support he received from the parents who raised him. Yes, he received good basic genetics from his birth parents but it was nurture that made him into the man that he became. In conclusion, nurture wins. When choosing an egg donor I encourage intended parents to focus more on finding someone who they like rather than worry about choosing the highest academic achiever. I know that it’s hard to let go and even harder to trust but we are not in control of genetics. What we can control is how we love, raise, and nurture our children to be the best that they can be.

When we started finding egg donors in 2006, there was no such thing as Instagram. Few people talked publicly about their fertility journey and even fewer talked about using donor eggs and finding an egg donor. Fast forward to 2020 and finally, egg donation is starting to lose the stigma. Here are a few awesome Instagrammers who share their own donor egg IVF journey. Thank you all! @lenaridley Most intended parents seeking an egg donor have already been through a tumultuous path with fertility, and chances are, you are looking for other parents who have been there and done that. Lena (@LenaRidley) uses her page to share her fertility journey, from IUI, IVF, and donor eggs to parenthood! Lena is a great source of inspiration, but she keeps it real: her posts about the struggles of infertility and parenthood are relatable no matter where you are in your own journey. @definingmum Becky (@DefiningMum)) is a self-proclaimed advocate for fertility and donor conception and a great voice in the fertility community. Becky consistently posts about her own donor egg journey, as well as words of wisdom and messages in support of others going through fertility struggles. Her other page, Fertility Matters At Work (@FertilityMattersAtWork), is dedicated to bringing awareness to fertility issues in the workplace. For anyone struggling with infertility at work, the page frequently highlights women who have been in your shoes! @camilleguaty Camille Guaty (@CamilleGuaty) is an actress famous for her roles on Prison Break and The Good Doctor, but she also made waves recently by opening up about her donor egg pregnancy. Now the mother of a beautiful baby boy, Camille has shared her donor egg journey with the world, and we love that she is helping spread awareness about egg donation! @expectinganything Victoria (@ExpectingAnything) is a blogger and writer who has candidly shared her journey to motherhood with donor eggs and the love, heartbreak, and hope along the way. She is the cofounder of Infertility Unfiltered (@InfertilityUnfiltered), a fertility support program in Newport Beach that seeks to highlight and lift up other #infertilitywarriors. Her page is a great place to find other women at all stages of their infertility journeys. @fried_eggs17 Christie (@Fried_Eggs17) has documented the last few years of her fertility journey on Instagram, sharing the ups and downs of diminished ovarian reserve, premature ovarian failure, donor egg IVF and pregnancy. Christie is a source of hope while shedding light on a difficult topic. For anyone interested in hearing about donor egg IVF firsthand, her Instagram stories are a great place to start. @riotcarrot Melissa (@RiotCarrot) is a nutrition scientist and IVF warrior who has been chronicling her donor egg IVF journey. Her Instagram feed is full of photos of her beautiful baby boy, and if you scroll a little further, you’ll see a detailed account of her donor egg IVF process. Don’t let the baby pics fool you: Melissa has been through the ringer, but we are so happy that after a long fertility journey she has a gorgeous, healthy son. @mrsjennsharp Jennifer (@MrsJennSharp) is the mom of one daughter through egg donor IVF, and currently expecting another girl! Jennifer posts about pregnancy, parenthood, and daily life with a positivity that lifts up her followers, while discussing serious issues like fertility and genetics. For anyone with genetic premature ovarian failure, Jennifer is a must-follow. She’s described in detail her journey through egg donor IVF, and the surprise blessing of another pregnancy. Infertility is a rollercoaster, but we love how Jennifer has shared her story. @motheringsolo Jocelyn (@MotheringSolo) is a 40 year old mama-to-be who is documenting her double donor IVF journey. From Clexane bruising to bump progress pics, Jocelyn has shared the good, the bad and the ugly of double donor pregnancy. We love Jocelyn’s perspective -- if you’re a single mother or pursuing double donor IVF, we wholeheartedly recommend following! @babiesafter35 Shannon (@BabiesAfter35) is a mom via egg donation and an OB/GYN, and she’s a great person to follow for both the personal side and clinical side of pregnancy and parenthood. Shannon shares and supports the pregnancy journeys of other women through reposts, but her videos are our favorite part of her feed! Her TikToks (@TikTokBabyDoc) will have you learning and laughing as she tackles everything from the impact of racism on pregnancy outcomes to the awkwardness of OB/GYN appointments. @thebunlessoven Allie (@TheBunlessOven) is a professor, expat and fertility warrior documenting her journey on her blog and Instagram. After struggling with infertility for years, Allie became pregnant via donor eggs from a close friend and welcomed her beautiful daughter. Allie’s blog is a must read for anyone weighing using a known vs. anonymous egg donor or wondering how and when to tell their child about egg donation.