We are often asked which is better: a first-time egg donor or a repeat egg donor. The short answer is one is not better than the other. There is no difference in success rates between using a first time egg donor and a repeat egg donor. Donors of all kinds have to go through the same egg donation process, though there are unique considerations for each type of egg donor candidate. Repeat egg donors Why did my doctor recommend a repeat egg donor? There are pros to choosing a repeat egg donor that your doctor is aware of. Your fertility team has information about how her cycles have gone in the past, which is appealing. Record of previous responses to stimulation and/or positive pregnancy. Your egg donor was able to follow through with the protocol and make it to retrieval, all reassuring data to have before heading into a cycle. What your doctor is focused on is science, not the financial, emotional or issues of human nature. A repeat donor can be a great choice if you can find someone that you like, who is available to travel to your clinic and is can cycle when you are ready to cycle. She'll often have had her genetic and fertility testing completed and will understand the process and how she will respond to the medications. Here are a few drawbacks to a repeat donor that you may encounter: Repeat donors are in high demand Their fees are higher Finding a repeat donor who you like and is available can be challenging Waiting for your turn to work with the repeat donor of your dreams can fall through. Being an egg donor is not a walk in the park it is not unusual for donors to decide they don’t want to do a future cycle when it’s your turn First-time egg donors Here are a few reasons to also look at first time donors: Every egg donor was a first time donor at some time First time egg donors are excited about the process and the possibility of helping you First time egg donor fees are usually significantly lower than a repeat donor First time egg donors can be tested for ovarian reserve prior to you committing to work with them First time egg donors may be open to doing an exclusive donation arrangement with your family We always recommend that intended parents look at both first time donors egg donors as well as repeat donors . It is hard enough to find candidates that feel “familiar” you don’t want to eliminate the majority of candidates because they have never done this before it may even be a plus when creating your family. Interested in building your family with Donor Concierge? Schedule your free consultation today .

How DO you choose the best egg donor for you? It seems easy at first – someone who likes like you, lives near your clinic and is healthy? Soon, many intended parents become bogged down in the finite details of individual donors and come to us, overwhelmed by the decision making process and worried that 'the one' just isn't out there. Think again. As corny as it may sound we are all far more unique than we realize. When it comes to choosing an egg donor you can desire anything you want but you can’t have everything you want all in one person. Here are a few guidelines: • Choose a donor who is healthy and has a good family health history • Make sure she is available to cycle now not some time in the future • If she is a first-time donor, ask to have her ovarian reserve checked • Make sure she can travel to your clinic • Choose a donor who looks and feels like they could fit into your family • Find someone who you like for who she is not because she is just like you Out of the six guidelines, the first three are must haves from a medical perspective. But if that were all future parents cared about all intended parents would be able to find egg donors from their clinic’s database. For most of our clients, it’s finding an egg donor that feels “familiar” that gets them to let go of their genetic connection so that they can go to cycle. They want to feel a connection to the young woman who is taking their place in the family genetics. Many intangible characteristics help future parents feel they are ready. While we are always checking the donor’s health information, it is the look and feel that helps the prospective parents to decide they can let go of their reservations. Start with your ultimate egg donor wish list. Then decide what qualifications are the must-haves or deal breakers and which are the nice to have or icing on the cake. A client came to us with a lengthy ‘must-have’ list of his perfect egg donor – she had to be Jewish with an SAT in the 90% from a top 30 college. While many Jewish women are bright and highly educated, those with SAT scores in the 90% rarely sign up to be egg donors. There are bright young women who have excellent scores, but they may not be Jewish. Many intended parents may then decide qualification is of greater importance to them. For some, the egg donor's Jewish heritage is more important while for others it’s the academics. When you start to review profiles, you will quickly realize which of these qualifications is going to be the deal-breaker or the icing on the cake. Your Donor Concierge case manager will help you see all those candidates who come close to your desired criteria and ultimately, help you make the best choice for you and your family.

Donor Concierge works with a variety of men - married and single , gay and straight. In our experience, men have a different perspective on finding an egg donor than women do. We’ve found that women searching for an egg donor tend to look for someone like themselves. Men, on the other hand, seem to be searching for the ‘ideal woman’ to be their egg donor. They often seek ‘perfection’, without understanding that although all egg donors are women, not all women are egg donors. Some common requests that we get from men who are looking for an egg donor: Model beautiful Ivy League education 90th percentile on SAT or ACT 5’7” or taller Plays a Division I sport While we can find very bright, university-educated women who are tall, healthy and attractive, someone who meets all of the above criteria is a rarity. Most women have absolutely no interest in being an egg donor, regardless of the compensation. Those who do choose to be egg donors have done enough soul searching to feel comfortable with their decision. Most egg donors are motivated both by altruism and the financial rewards. Many women would never entertain the idea of donating their eggs because they would see it as giving away their children. The time commitment and discomfort associated with the egg donation process can also be a deterrent for many young women. An egg donor must give herself subcutaneous hormone injections to prepare her body for donation. She will retain a lot of excess abdominal fluid during this process that may cause bloating, cramping and general discomfort. The donor also needs to limit her physical activity so that she doesn’t damage to her ovaries while they have swollen. There are risks involved in any surgical procedure and some women are not prepared to take this risk to become egg donors. Finally, social acceptability may affect a woman’s willingness to be an egg donor. While she may see it as a financially rewarding altruistic act, not everyone in the donor’s family and social circles will see it in that light. This is particularly true among more traditional Asian , Jewish , East Indian and Middle Eastern families and is a deterrent that keeps many women from wanting to be an egg donor. It can also be socially unacceptable at Ivy League or other top schools. Many of these highly accomplished young women are simply too busy with school and don’t have the time or the monetary motivation to be egg donors. While there are many wonderful, healthy, bright, caring and lovely women who are willing to be egg donors, it is a process of self-selection. For men, choosing an egg donor means understanding that we will always be limited to those women that choose to do this, and to focus on finding someone who is healthy, available and willing to donate who offers the best chance of a successful pregnancy.

When I was 39 years old and still single, I decided to move forward with my “Plan B” to have a baby on my own as a single mother by choice. After finding a wonderful and generous sperm donor, I learned that I would also need an egg donor. As a petite, well-educated Jewish woman, I wanted to find an egg donor who resembled me and my vertically-challenged extended Jewish family -- all of whom are descended from Eastern European immigrants. I found a donor attending graduate school who is also petite (but of course taller than I am!) and quite athletic, like myself. With all of the other concerns about logistics, injections, the timing of the retrieval and the pregnancy, whether my baby would be considered Jewish by my rabbi was an afterthought. Of course my baby boy will be Jewish, I thought, because I am Jewish - and I am his mother. As it turns out, there is little consensus among rabbis in the United States and Israel about whether a baby born to a Jewish mother with the help of a non-Jewish egg donor is Jewish or not. “If the egg is from a non-Jew, then the DNA is from the other person, says Rabbi Shaul Rosen, who founded a support network for infertile Jewish couples. “In order for that child to be Jewish, it would have to go through a conversion ceremony like any other non-Jew.” For babies, this requires immersion in a mikvah, and boys must have a bris. Other orthodox rabbis are taking this approach as well. I am affiliated with the conservative movement. I carried my baby, Solomon, and he had a bris with a Mohel. Eighty of my closest family and friends attended his bris and Solomon is Jewish, according to my rabbi. The question of a baby’s parentage may become more complicated when a Jewish couple uses an egg donor and a surrogate to have a baby, but it should not be. Placing emphasis on the baby’s genetics rather than on his Jewish parents is reminiscent of Germany’s nefarious eugenics program or the inhuman underpinnings of the genocide in Rwanda. Requiring conversion of a baby born from a non-Jewish egg donor and/or a surrogate places unnecessary significance on the genetics rather than on the child’s Jewish parents. Solomon is named after two of his great-great grandfathers who fought their way to United States in order for their Jewish children and grandchildren to have a peaceful and prosperous life. His bris was a huge celebration for me and my family. Solomon knows the Hebrew alphabet and sings “ Shalom Alechem” and “Shabbat Shalom.” He reminds me every Friday afternoon that we need to light the Shabbat candles. We do not need rabbis or Hallachic (Jewish law) scholars to tell us if our baby is Jewish. Our children will tell us themselves that they are Jewish. They have known all along. Jessica Rutzick is a trial lawyer and single mom by choice. She and her son, Solomon, live, ski and pray in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

People form families in many ways: yes—through natural conception, through adoption and, more recently, through assisted reproductive technology (ART). Since the first birth of a child born by means of technology in the late 1970s, nearly 200,000 babies have been born, and 100 million procedures have been performed, according to an estimate by the International Committee for Monitoring ART. Many children have been born with the help of sperm or egg donation. The use of donor sperm as a treatment for male infertility in the United States was first reported in 1884, while the use of donor eggs was made possible in the United States more recently, in 1984. Psychology, however, has been lagging behind technology. Guidance for parents and follow-up of children born by means of a donor egg or sperm is just beginning. There's lots of expert opinion on how, what and when to tell most children where they come from, but expert opinion about conveying this information to children born as a result of egg or sperm donation is hard to find. AOK spoke about this issue with Margot Weinshel, LCSW, RN, Clinical Instructor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at the NYU Child Study Center and Membership Chair for the Mental Health Professional Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. The interview was conducted by Anita Gurian, Ph.D., Executive Editor of AboutOurKids.org. Q: To tell or not to tell is a choice that must be made by heterosexual parents of children born by means of a donor egg or sperm. How can parents decide? A: Both psychological and medical experts advise parents to tell the child. There are several reasons for this opinion. First, every child has the right to know his/her genetic background, particularly since there have been many medical advances in identifying and curing genetically transmitted diseases. Second, keeping secrets represents a denial of reality and is likely to cause problems in family relationships. In addition, children's trust in their parents may be shaken, as they wonder if other secrets have also been kept from them. Q: Isn't keeping it a secret better for the child? Why look for problems? This is the only family she has ever known, and no one else has to know the details of how she was born. Why tell if the child doesn't ask? A: In the long run, not telling leads to more problems than telling. Telling early avoids the betrayal children may experience if they find out when they're older. The current opinion that the child has a right to know represents a shift from 20 years ago when people were advised not to tell. Q: What led to this change? A: At that time, the medical profession felt that since the mother became pregnant and gave birth to the baby, it was not necessary to tell. The current view advocates an open and honest attitude. Many adults who were born as a result of sperm donation, have stated that they wished that they had been told the truth earlier, that the love and respect they have for their parents would not have been lessened. Some felt they had been betrayed because their parents had not been truthful and might have withheld other important information. Since egg donation is a relatively recent procedure, children born as a result of egg donation are still young and have not yet expressed their views on this issue. Q: When do you tell a child? What's the best time? A: Child development experts recommend that the child be told as early as possible. Even at the age of three children the idea can be planted, for example, by reading a story book. (One example: Mommy was your tummy big ? lulu.com/content/365108 ). In this way, the story becomes part of the child's reality from an early age, and she won't be able to recall a time when she didn't know this aspect of her history. Q: Isn't the concept hard for young children to understand? A: Not if it's presented in simple language and is not too detailed. By age four or five, most children will ask questions about how babies are born, so parents can take advantage of their natural curiosity. Don't tell young children more than they can absorb or more than they're asking. Telling doesn't happen in just one session, so remain open for ongoing conversations as questions will keep changing. Young children usually don't regard the topic as a big deal and quickly move on to something else. Q: How do you tell? How much information is appropriate? A: Keep the child's developmental stage in mind. The specific information should be tailored to the age of the child in language he can understand. For young children, it's okay to use terms that may be somewhat inaccurate but familiar: for example, you might say tummy for uterus, or egg for ovum, and then correct it later on. Whenever possible both parents should tell the child together. Don't tell too much; just answer the child's questions. Keep the communication honest, open and age-appropriate. The underlying message should reflect the fact that the parent or parents needed help and some very nice person helped. It is recommended that the word donor be used to describe this person. Referring to the donor as the real or biological parent erroneously implies that the donor has a parental role in the family. Q: What about telling an older child? At the age of eight or nine a child is expanding his ability to tune in to the feelings of others and can understand why parents might need help to have a child. At this age children can understand about genetic connections and about sex and about egg or sperm donation. Make sure the child knows there was no sex between the parent and the donor. It's important to focus on the child's needs and feelings, not the parents'. Talk about the various ways that people form families, and that this is the way you chose, stressing the warm and loving feelings, not the technical process. Allow time for questions; it takes a while for the information to sink in. Then check in a few weeks, and talk again. Ongoing talks of this nature normalize the process and usually make the family feel closer. With adolescents, keep several issues in mind: adolescents are focused on themselves, and issues of trust and identity are prominent. They're dealing with pubertal changes in their brains and in their hormonal systems. The immediate reaction of an adolescent can range from apathy to shock and anger. They may question why they haven't been told before. As adolescents struggle to establish their identity and their independence, new knowledge about their genetic inheritance requires considerable adjustment on their part. Q: What about telling the child of single parents and gay and lesbian couples? A: It's clear that a single parent cannot have a child without a partner and that two same-sex partners cannot create a biological child with each other, so the child must be told that a donor was involved. The time when a child asks about her mommy or daddy presents a natural opportunity. A number of books for children are available on this issue. Q: What if the parents have other kids, either naturally or by adoption or by other forms of ART? A: Parents should share the information with their children about how they chose to make a family at a time when they're all together or shortly thereafter. If there are differences, they should be explained. In this way, the facts are out in the open. Since cultural values have become more inclusive and accepting of the many ways that families are made, children are less likely to feel different than their peers. Q: Is it ever a good idea not to tell? A: Under certain circumstances it's not advisable to tell: a) if a child is not capable of understanding because of mental retardation or other condition, b) if parents are in a state of conflict, such as divorce, when telling might occur in a moment of anger, c) if the child is going through a particularly stressful time, and d) if the family is part of a culture in which assisted reproduction is a taboo and the child would be ostracized. Q: Should other people be told? A: Some people must be told. Physicians, for example, need to know a child's genetic background. It may also be advisable to tell teachers if the topic is likely to come up in class. It's usually advisable to inform family members and friends. The child may wish to talk with them at some point, and family members and friends often create a support network. Some children may participate in the decision of who to tell. Around the age of eight a child can understand the difference between privacy (which is the individual's right not to divulge information) and secrecy (which is shameful). By this age a child can decide who to tell or to keep the information to herself if she prefers. Q: How do parents' experiences in the process of infertility and in considering the help of a sperm or egg donor or other form of ART affect their decision to tell and the way they tell? A: Anxiety and reluctance about telling are to be expected. Telling may reawaken earlier feelings of shame, blame, guilt and the emotional ups and downs regarding infertility. Parents have had to make hard choices and have had failures and disappointments in the processes involved. They have had to grieve for the fully genetic child they cannot have with each other and to adjust to the change in the future they imagined together. Despite the pain of re-experiencing these feelings, many parents report that they feel relieved after telling their child and that the family is stronger. Q: Research thus far reports that children born as a result of sperm donation are doing well psychologically. When should people consult a mental health professional for guidance in making decisions about telling children, family, friends and others? A: If parents are unsure or in conflict about deciding to disclose, need help with the specifics of how and when to tell their children, or tensions among family members are causing distress, consultation with a mental health professional with experience in this field can be helpful. Helpful resources Further information and bibliography for parents and children are available on the following sites: www.dcnetwork.org presents information about telling and talking to children as well as other donor issues American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) www.asrm.org presents multidisciplinary information in regard to education, advocacy and standards in the field of reproductive medicine. The ASRM Mental Health Professional Group deals with psychological issues in reproductive medicine About the Author Margot Weinshel, LCSW, RN , is a clinical instructor in the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, NYU School of Medicine, on the teaching faculty of the Ackerman Institute for the Family; and in private practice in Manhattan. She is Membership Chair for the Mental Health Professional Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Ms. Weinshel is the co-founder of the Ackerman Institute's Infertility Project, co-author of Couple Therapy for Infertility (Guilford, 1999) and author of Surviving an Eating Disorder: Strategies for Families and Friends (Harper Collins, 1988, 1997). She has also co-authored chapters about infertility in Couples on the Fault Line , edited by Peggy Papp (Guilford, 2000) and Handbook of Primary Care Psychology , edited by Leonard J. Haas (Oxford University Press, 2004). Ms. Weinshel has published numerous articles and presents nationally and internationally.

Shilpa is a mom via surrogacy who is currently expecting her second child with the help of a Donor Concierge surrogate match. Here, Shilpa provides excellent advice on managing the relationship with your surrogate. Hi Shilpa! Give us a little background on your story. We struggled with infertility for about three years when I found Donor Concierge. They found my first surrogate fairly quickly and we had the most amazing experience and now we have a daughter. And now I'm on my second journey, and my second one is due in December. I have a very close relationship with both surrogates and hope my story can help others. At the beginning, did you have ideas of what the surrogacy journey would be like? With our first surrogate, we were a deer in headlights and we didn't really know what that would look like for us. We didn't really know what we were going to tell our daughter. My advice is to start having those conversations early with your partner. We decided that we did want our daughter to know. So off the bat, we wanted our surrogate to have an open relationship post delivery. That is the first thing that we told Donor Concierge. We also wanted a close relationship during the pregnancy. I wanted pictures with her. I wanted to show my baby pictures of her growing in her belly. That was really important to me. I thought that was important for bonding purposes. And so, we started having conversations with my husband and I about what that would look like for our family. We were lucky enough that Donor Concierge was super respectful of that, and they found us a surrogate who was also really respectful of that and really wanted a relationship like that. Tell us about your daughter’s surrogate and how you established a close relationship with her? She had done a surrogacy journey before and did not have that closeness with her other intended parents. We established what we wanted from the beginning. We sent toys for her other children at Christmas time. We knew the names of her own children. We took her and her family out to dinner when we were with them. She ended up meeting my family when we were there for the birth before she delivered, things like that. And that meant a lot for us. We even did a photo shoot, so we had a maternity photo shoot and we will show our daughter those pictures as she grows up. How do you plan on talking with your children about their birth? How we explain it to our daughter now is, “we want to do so badly that we had to have an extra heart to create you”. * How did you handle a baby shower when you are having a baby via surrogacy? Both surrogates were included in our baby shower. She obviously didn't travel here for the baby shower, but we had her on Zoom and both of them shared the belly and each table wrote a message and we shared it to them. And my parents thanked her for making them grandparents and everything like that. We hope that our second surrogate will be able to meet my parents as well. During the pregnancy, what was the communication like? Our surrogate was kind enough that I would message her and be like, “Any pregnancy cravings?,” And she'd be like, “Cheez-its!” And so we would send her boxes of Cheez-Its, and then she'd be like, “Enough, please, this weekly order of Cheez-Its is getting slightly out of hand,”. We're like, “Oops, our bad”. And then she'd go to pickles. And so we would send her pickles and then she'd be like, “Okay, enough of the pickles”. We just kind of had humor about it. I would also be like, “I'm having pregnancy cravings for Ben and Jerry's ice cream. How about you?” She's like, “Oh my gosh, that sounds so great”. So we would eat Ben and Jerry's ice cream together as we watched a movie and we would do silly things together. Did you ever have uncomfortable feelings seeing your child growing in another woman’s belly? I think for moms especially, it can be hard. You can think you want one thing, which is a close relationship, but I think jealousy can come in the way of that. We are human beings. There were times that I would start to feel a little jealous that I didn't have my daughter growing in my belly and I would take a break and I would step back a little bit. Our surrogate didn't notice that I wouldn't message her for a couple of weeks at a time. She didn’t even notice that I would ebb and flow and then I would take care of myself and I'd put boundaries up that it might take me a couple days to respond to her and things like that. The second thing that I would add is - putting ourselves as intended parents in their shoes is also important. They're carrying a baby for you and they have to give up that baby. They have a connection to that baby too. Did you have a birth plan and how do you navigate that with your surrogate? Yes, you're going to want to have a birth plan. It answers the big questions -- who gets to hold the baby first, what exactly do you get from the GC right after such as colostrum (the milk that comes out right after the birth). Our surrogate gave birth very quickly. For my birth plan, I got to hold the baby first. My husband got to cut the cord and the baby came to me. At that point, there may be bodily fluids on the baby, but you just don't care - this is your baby. Our surrogate knew our wishes and she was supportive. My advice is to advocate for what you want. Another big part of the discussion about the birth plan is who can be in the room and where people stand? Can it be recorded and what can be seen? My husband was required to stay at the head and I could be at her feet so I could see the baby come out. After the baby is born, they do stuff to make sure the surrogate is okay. After the birth, she’ll want to catch her breath, maybe drink water. We were immediately given a separate room from the surrogate, which is pretty typical. You mentioned that the surrogate gave the colostrum - was that in the birth plan? Yes. For us, it was important that we got the colostrum. That's the milk that comes out of the breast right after birth. It's given to you in a syringe and delivered by a nurse by hand, and we would give our baby the syringe colostrum. You wake up the baby, you give the colostrum. Colostrum is very beneficial nutrition wise for your baby. Doctors will discharge you and the baby when you're ready. Our surrogate was discharged before we were. We had an agreement to get breast milk from our surrogate. She pumped and we shipped it from California to Michigan for a couple months. How far ahead do you make the birth plan with the hospital? It’s something you can do as early as the matching process. However, when there are things that are deal breakers, you want to discuss them early. A deal breaker for me was to be in the room. It was important to me that I got skin to skin contact with the baby when she was born. You have to think about what's important to you. The team at Donor Concierge was really good about walking us through essential parts of the birth plan. So we asked our surrogate if we could hold the baby first, and she agreed. And so those really important things to you, you want to discuss right from the start. What other things were important to you when matching with your surrogate? I don't think there's any right or wrong. I've talked to people where a vegetarian diet was important or who wanted them to take specific vitamins. This wasn’t important to us. We asked Donor Concierge to find us an experienced surrogate. That was extremely important to us. We wanted someone who knew what it felt like to carry that baby and who knew what it felt like to give up that baby at the end of the day. That was actually one of our deal breakers. However, there's a flip side that when you have more births medically, they can have more scar tissue and some other issues. But on the other medical flip side is they've already had an IVF protocol that has been proven to work and their body has been proven to handle a surrogate pregnancy. For us, we were just so scared of heartbreak because we've had miscarriages and we felt like babies were already taken from us. I'm getting goosebumps talking about this but, we couldn't bear that happening again. How did you know your surrogate was the right person or not? Do you have any tips or advice on how to trust the process? The mind can go in a lot of places. And one thing that I had to learn that was really hard for me when I was going through IVF, was to give up control. You have to trust the surrogate, especially if she's done it before. I'm an A-type personality that was very hard for me and I just had to let it go. You can't control when it's someone else, you just can't. Before we found Donor Concierge, we were with a different company. They presented us a surrogate who had one child, but she also had had a baby who died of SIDS. I knew that I couldn't give up control if I went with that surrogate. I told my husband, I'm sorry, I can't do it. If you're not comfortable with the person in your innate self, you shouldn’t go with them. You can also ask multiple times to meet with the surrogate if you're not sure. We met our surrogate on Zoom and we talked for an hour and a half. We did not have any doubts. The same thing happened with our second surrogate - we just knew. How do you navigate everything when you are not geographically close to the surrogate? ** At first, geography was a really big thing for us. But I think over time, after we found Donor Concierge, it became less important to us, but it was very important to us in the beginning because we almost wanted to keep tabs on the surrogate but I just had to let that go. Our situation is a little unique because Michigan is a very bad state for surrogacy. We were trying to find someone in Chicago, but it was really just really hard to find someone there. Two things that I would look into are direct flights to a big city and where you have family that you trust. At some point you have to fly out for the birth. Take the total flying time into consideration because what's closer might not actually be closer. You’ll have a timeline and when it comes close to your surrogate’s due date. So your doctor is going to predict that the baby is going to come early, and you'll kind of get a heads up. My husband and I planned to fly out a week and a half prior to the delivery date. Once the baby is born, you're in the hospital for three days until you get medical clearance to fly them home. So, you can kind of gauge as far as how long you're going to be there with those dates. The doctors work with you, they try to give you the best estimate time. Now obviously it's not perfect, but they're going to give you a generous timeline so that you don't miss the birth as far as doctor's appointments. Any tips for traveling with a newborn? ** We had a complication so we couldn't come home right away. It took us three weeks to come home. So we actually just looked at travel time and we found it was cheaper to get an Airbnb for a month and pay a month at a time and just pay for it. Having a base is easier because you can do all the bottle warming, and you can function better with multiple rooms so the baby can sleep and have the monitor and things like that. There are some tricks that you can do for traveling. You can buy sterilization bags that take up no room in your luggage instead of bringing a sterilization machine because you have to sterilize it for newborns. You buy bags, fill them up with water and they're like steam bags. Tell us about the first few months after you got home with your baby? ** I think it was easier in a way since I didn't birth medically, I didn’t have the complications, I didn’t have any weight restrictions, my body didn’t go through the hormonal change that a lot of my friends have gone through who have birthed. So medically and physically, I was okay. I was the same. Postpartum depression and anxiety is a very real thing for people that give birth and for people that give birth, they have that bonding experience of breastfeeding. If moms that give birth have a difficult time with postpartum anxiety and depression and bonding with their child, then one could expect that a mom that did not birth their child would also have those complications. To be quite honest, I did struggle with that a little bit. I noticed it and I asked for help because it's not something you should be ashamed of. I say that loud and clear, it's nothing to be ashamed of. If moms at birth struggle, then moms that don't birth, they struggle as well. So, I got a doula and I told her and she gave me some tricks. Some of the tricks were, take a bath with your baby, have someone watch you while you sleep with your baby. If someone's watching over you, it can make it feel more safe. So I would take a nap with her while the nanny was watching me very closely. I would take a bath with her. I would start to notice that I could get smiles and laughter from her. And something changed and I definitely bonded with her. It probably took me maybe three months. I still cared for her. I still loved her. But the bonding just took a little bit longer than one would hope. There's this expectation in society that it's love at first sight and they take their first breath, that you take your first breath when you see them and it's supposed to be automatic. Well, that's not everyone's experience. It's okay to acknowledge that and it's okay to need help. And it's definitely okay to ask for that help. And that's what I did. And now I couldn't imagine my life without her. Did you have any particularly uncomfortable feelings that came up for you after the birth?** I think I always felt a little bit of guilt for not being able to carry her that I've worked past now. I felt a little bit guilty that I couldn't breastfeed her. People who are pregnant have nine months of bonding, starting with the first pregnancy test, feeling the baby kick and on for nine months. Whereas when I didn't carry her, you can forget that you're pregnant. When I told people, I told people I'm pregnant, I told people I'm expecting, I would tell people that it wouldn't change the way I would say anything. I would say I'm pregnant, I had a baby shower. I might not have had a baby bump, but I had a baby shower. I experienced as many things as I possibly could that I could as if I was carrying. How did the family of the surrogate react, such as the surrogate’s husband. Were there any emotions or things that you've found interesting?** Our surrogate was married and had children at home. They talked to the children about it and explained, “we're not keeping the baby, this isn't your brother or sister, remember we're just helping out a family”. We took our first surrogate's family for dinner. So I did meet the husband, and he told us that he didn't want to go to the hospital for appointments. He would take her to the hospital, she would do her thing with her mom. Her mom was her support system, and mom would drop her home and then he would do the post care of her, but he just never wanted to be in the hospital. How did you handle the fear of complications?** No one can prevent any medical complications. And of course what gets publicized is the worst case scenario of everything. So one thing that my husband and I often did was we'd say, what if something happens to our surrogate? And then immediately we would say, what if nothing happens? Remember that the probability of a good thing happening is much more likely than the probability of something bad happening. In your legal paperwork, not that this is any real consolation of anything, it will outline what the family gets or what she gets. But again, that's not really any consolation, but it will be addressed if something were to be like that. But I think it goes along with trusting the process. Try not to get worked up in that. When you hear yourself starting to say those what ifs, it's so easy to immediately tell yourself what if something good happens. I know it's hard. I know it's really hard and it's really challenging for sure. What other things were important to you during this process? Maintaining a relationship with us after the birth was important to us. Getting the Covid vaccine was important to us, letting us make the decisions on medical stuff with the doctors. So that is, selective reduction, termination if something was wrong. Donor Concierge is there to support all intended parents . They're going to do what's right and they're going to advocate for you. And so there's no harm in asking for a specific thing you want. I mean, if it's something absurd like, waiting six months, the Donor Concierge team will be honest and help you with realistic expectations. If you have questions about surrogacy, talk to us today !

Adrienne Bailon and husband Israel Houghton have welcomed their first child via gestational carrier: "He is worth every tear, every disappointment, every delayed prayer, every IVF cycle... everything." Adrienne Bailon Houghton announced August 16th that she has welcomed her son via surrogacy. The announcement came as a surprise to all but her closest friends and family, as the actress and host decided to keep her pregnancy and surrogacy journey private. She told People that “everyone was shocked” to learn the news. "Even my sister, who watched The Real throughout the whole last season, literally said to me, 'Adrienne, I am impressed.' She's like, 'I am so proud of you. You are really holding this.'” “He is worth every tear, every disappointment, every delayed prayer, every IVF cycle, every miscarriage. Everything. All we feel is joy and overwhelming love & gratitude.” The announcement came after a long fertility struggle for Adrienne Bailon Houghton and her husband, Israel Houghton. She has been open about her fertility journey and shared her experiences on her talk show The Real in 2018. When her co-host asked about her family-building journey, Bailon got candid about her struggles, saying, “It isn’t what I thought it would be.” “I think so many people are very insensitive to that, in the sense I know you guys are like, ‘Is she pregnant?’ Her face is fuller,’” Bailon said. “I think that as an audience we should be sensitive to the fact that everybody doesn’t get pregnant right away.” Bailon continued, sharing that she had originally expected a completely different journey to family. “I thought that if my husband looked at me, I’d get pregnant. I really believed that and it just hasn’t been that way… I’ve had to come to peace with that it’ll happen when it’s God’s timing and I believe in that, and I have faith in all of that,” she said. “But it can be really discouraging and it can be really frustrating.” Now, years after opening up about her family-building struggles with millions of viewers, the actress shared about the new path she took to pregnancy. Over the years of their fertility journey, Bailon and Houghton experienced eight failed in-vitro fertilization (IVF) cycles and a miscarriage. Bailon and Houghton ended up exploring surrogacy with the encouragement of their doctor and ultimately chose to keep their surrogate pregnancy private. I got to be honest, even the process of surrogacy can be quite nerve-wracking," Bailon told People . "Somebody else has your child with them.” In this time of uncertainty, Adrienne explained that keeping the news private helped her stay calm and hopeful. “I feel like having people ask me, 'How's everything going?' That was going to make me that much more anxious, so I just wanted to have peace and have a little joy that I could hold for myself every day and something to look forward to. To announce the birth of her son, Adrienne shared an emotional post detailing her fertility experiences and surrogacy journey - as well as the complicated emotions the process brought her. “Our baby boy is here & we are so in love! If you have followed our love story… you know that our journey to baby has been very challenging - But God is true to His word and His promises. We have quietly prayed while sitting on this most magnificent secret for the last 9 months.” “He is worth every tear, every disappointment, every delayed prayer, every IVF cycle, every miscarriage. Everything. All we feel is joy and overwhelming love & gratitude,” Bailon continued. “Grateful to God, to our angel surrogate and to all of our friends and family who have stood with us for over 5 years on this journey. He’s here and we have never been happier to lose sleep!” We are so happy for Adrienne Bailon Houghton and Israel Houghton for their successful surrogate pregnancy. At Donor Concierge, we always appreciate public figures who open up about their unique paths to family and shine a light on third-party fertility. If you are considering starting your surrogacy journey or would like to learn about family-building options, our team is here to help. Interested in building your family with Donor Concierge? Schedule your free consultation today .

We partnered with Pregnantish to share diverse stories of conception, pregnancy, and parenthood - including single motherhood via sperm donation We are proud to partner with the Pregnantish podcast this week to support diverse stories of conception and parenthood. Donor Concierge has worked with clients from all walks of life pursuing egg donation, sperm donation , and surrogacy to start their families. We greatly appreciate platforms like Pregnantish who are normalizing conversations about third-party fertility and celebrating the stories of so many modern families. This week’s episode was part of Pregnantish’s National Infertility Awareness Week series, “The Reality of Infertility.” This podcast series is diving deep into the fertility stories of beloved reality stars, including Caroline Lunny and Kendall Long from the Bachelor franchise and Golnesa Gharachedaghi from Shahs of Sunset. On this week’s episode, host Andrea Syrtash spoke with Golnesa Gharachedaghi about her journey to single motherhood through sperm donation. Golnesa's journey began years ago, and Golnesa remembers the desire she felt to have children starting at a young age. However, she says she is glad she did not start a family sooner, when she wasn't ready and was struggling to "take care of myself." When she went through IVF for the first time, however, she experienced a devastating, life-threatening miscarriage that led to the removal of her fallopian tubes. At the time, she said she tried to find the logic in the experience, thinking maybe she had pushed her body too far when she was young and was now feeling the effects. But her doctors disagreed, stating that there was a less than 1% chance of this occurring with IVF. Golnesa describes the reasoning her doctors shared, saying, "Possibly because I have an inflammatory disease, which is rhemutaoid arthritis... my fallopian tubes might have had contractions from inflammation... I was so shocked. I remember feeling this pain." She continues, "I remember being nervous. They said you may have spotting, cramps, whatever... I called my doctor and said I have this pain, and I'm in fetal position trying to drive on the freeway." Her doctor recommended she go to the emergency room. Once there, Golnesa was immediately prepped for surgery. "Not only had my embryo gone into my fallopian tubes, becoming ectopic, but it had ruptured." She describes having to sign papers "that I'm aware that I'm sterilizing myself." She recalls asking her doctors before the surgery, "Are you sure I can still get pregnant after this surgery?" The experience was hard for her to process. She says, "I look down every now and then and see the three incisions," but continues, "I try to find the light in it." After recovering from surgery, Golnesa called her doctor and said she wanted to try again. Golnesa was determined to start a family as a single mother. Golnesa says, "When you're younger, you're like, 'if I don't have a kid by this age, I'm going to do it on my own.' It's easy to say that. It's very easy to say that." She continues, "About 7 years ago I transitioned my life in a significant way into being a person with intention in everything that's happening. I realized - I'm not good in intimate relationships. I thought about the intention of having a child and I felt like I was whole enough to have a child. I didn't need another partner in the picture, it didn't matter to me. Should I get married so society won't judge me? F*** society." I became more aware of what the intention was for me to have a child. The intention was to do something right an serve a better purpose... I felt like I was whole enough to offer that to a child. When have I ever cared about society? Let me go call the nearest sperm bank. Andrea agrees, saying, "That is a growing trend. You are not alone. single men call us at Pregnantish wanting to starting a family. And they say, 'If love comes, it comes. But this is my greatest goal.' And there is no higher-stakes goal for so many people than having a baby and being a parent." Golnesa describes the support she experienced from her family when pursuing single motherhood. She says, "to them it was like, 'we know you're not good in relationships. We know that. We know you love children and you have your life together. We support it.'" She brought up her autoimmune disease and the chemotherapy she was going through, and her parents gave her full support. However, Golnesa also describes some who criticized her decision. She says, "Some of my friends said, 'how could you do that to your child?' And I said, 'Excuse me? What do you mean?'" She spoke with the friend about his own experiences with his parents' divorce. She adds, "I said, 'I don't want that possibility. I don't want to risk that fraction.' Could there have been an amazing father? Yes. But that wasn't the goal. The goal was to create life and give love." Ultimately, she has no regrets. I look down at my son now, and think, everything must have happened for a reason. I'm so appreciative of him. I'm so appreciative of my process. It had to be this way. We work with parents of all kinds pursuing third-party fertility to start their families, and we have worked with many single mothers by choice to help them find the best sperm donor candidates possible. If you are looking to start your family through sperm donation , our team of experts is here to help. Interested in learning more? Schedule your free consultation today .

Donor Concierge is here to get you started on your fertility journey, by matching with the best donors and surrogates through the best surrogacy and donor agencies. We’re also here to provide resources and are excited to share Gail’s Reading List for 2023. Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception by Lisa Schuman, LCSW and Mark Leondires, MD We have to admit, we’ve been waiting for this one all year! Kudos to our amazing professional colleagues Lisa Schuman and Dr. Leondires who have collaborated on this wonderful book that takes a deep dive into both the medical and emotional aspects of becoming a parent through donor conception. The authors weave together the medical emotional and genetic aspects of donor conception and address common ethical dilemmas such as disclosure, talking with children about donor conception and strategies to cope with the challenges of fertility treatment. Schuman, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist, Leondires, a board certified Reproductive Endocrinologist, have decades of experience working closely with patients who have chosen to use donated eggs and sperm, as well as their own personal stories of fertility treatment and non-genetic parenthood. Love Comes First:Creating LGBTQ Families by Bradford Kolb, MD and Melanie Maerker Is it a book? A movement or a non profit? It’s all of those things and more. Dr. Bradford Kolb, of HRC Pasadena has been at the forefront of reproductive medicine since the 1990s and a passionate advocate for family building for the LGBTQ community. Love Comes First brings together a site that tells the real stories of LGBTQ families, practical resources for those exploring family building, and gives a tour of reproductive biology and the latest in reproductive medicine from an LGBTQ perspective. Dr. Kolb has been a Preferred Provider to Donor Concierge intended parents for almost two decades. You can visit the website Love Comes First to see videos, resources and hear uplifting stories of families created through love, and science. The Search for the Magical Egg by Becky Morrison This one is for the kids. This sweet story written by Becky Morrison tells the story of Sheldon, a turtle who lives in the deep blue sea who wonders where baby turtles come from. Sheldon’s parents tell them of their underwater search for the perfect egg. Morrison, who is an RN, created this book to read to her son about the magic and medicine of IVF. While it’s aimed at kids age 5-7, the story can help all children (and parents!) who are struggling with explaining where babies come from. IVF Daddies by Richard Westoby and Julio Gaggia We cheated a little bit on this one as IVF Daddies is a podcast but it’s also a chance to hear Richard Westoby , author of Our Journey: One Couple’s Guide to US Surrogacy , retell his story of becoming a dad (to twins!) through surrogacy. This new podcast will discuss all things IVF and surrogacy, aimed at hopeful dads and their supporters to ‘provide optimism during their road to parenthood.’ We’re hooked and can’t wait for the next episode! Our Families: Real Stories from Donor Concierge We may be biased but this is one we’re really proud of! We’ve been collecting stories from our clients since 2006 and we’re finally publishing them in our ebook. We take a look at our clients’ journeys from start to finish, and offer practical advice to those just starting on the journey to become parents. These are all stories from real people and we are so grateful for them for sharing these with us. Do you have books or podcasts we should add to the list? Let us know! Book some time to chat with us today !

Surrogacy is about a mutual match - the surrogate chooses the intended parents as much as the IP's choose the surrogate. One of the first things we do with our surrogate search clients is to help them write a Dear Surrogate letter. The purpose of the 'Dear Surrogate' letter is to provide prospective surrogate candidates with information about the Intended Parent (s) who are interested in possibly matching with them. Just as Intended Parents want to review profiles of surrogates to learn about them (who they are, their health and pregnancy history, how many children they have, why they want to be a surrogate, etc.); surrogates want the opportunity to learn as much as they can about the Intended Parents who are looking to match with them. There are four main parts to a Dear Surrogate letter: 1. Introducing Yourself When introducing yourselves (or yourself if you are single), take this opportunity to share how you met if you’re a couple, what you currently do (work or stay-at-home parent), any hobbies you have – anything that provides a sense of who you are. If you’re single, the same applies except the piece about how you met. 2. Sharing Your Story The next step is to share your story, to share what has led to your need or desire to use a surrogate. It’s important to be very authentic and speak from your heart. If you’ve had fertility struggles, share them. If other events have led to your seeking a surrogate, share those. The more you share, the better because personal stories tug at the heart strings of surrogates who are women with hearts to help other people complete their families. 3. Expressing Gratitude The last part of the letter needs to focus on expressing your immense gratitude to your prospective surrogate for helping you realize your dreams of having this child and completing your family. Things to consider including are thanking your prospective surrogate for her willingness to carry your child, for the sacrifice she is making, for her generosity (anything that will help convince your prospective surrogate that you realize what a critical role she is taking on for you and how very thankful and appreciative you are). 4. Sharing Photos Lastly, it’s important to include a few candid pictures of yourself/yourselves. These pictures can be anything; the more casual and candid, the better, so the surrogate can get a sense of who you are through personal photos. Pictures that show personality are great. Now, please relax, breathe and speak from your heart, this always works best and always results in a heart-warming, fantastic letter. Contact the Donor Concierge team today for advice on how to write your Dear Surrogate letter, or to book our surrogate search services!

Last year, the coronavirus brought fertility clinics to a halt and drastically changed procedures for fertility treatments, birth, and more. Now as the Delta variant prompts new preparations and conversations about safety, more hopeful parents and surrogates alike have COVID vaccine questions. When it comes to third-party fertility, intended parents are getting a helping hand in having a child. This can get tricky when complicated subjects like vaccination come up, and there are multiple opinions at play. How do you navigate COVID vaccination during surrogacy? Should surrogates get the COVID vaccine? Is the COVID vaccine safe for pregnancy? We’re answering your questions. Some surrogates are concerned about vaccination Surrogates are providing a huge gift to intended parents by carrying their child, and none of them take the responsibility lightly. Surrogacy requires in-depth health information, strict screenings, frequent doctor’s visits, and legal contracts. Every woman who moves forward as a surrogate is committed to the process. We’ve encountered several surrogates who do not want the COVID vaccine. Some of them are concerned that it may affect their health. Many are concerned that it could affect the health of the baby they are carrying. Carrying someone else’s baby is a big responsibility, and we understand why surrogates may be cautious of anything that could affect that process. Meanwhile, many intended parents prefer a vaccinated woman to carry their child, because they don’t want their surrogate to fall seriously ill. COVID-19 risks and pregnancy According to the CDC , COVID-19 infection presents a danger to pregnant women. “Pregnant and recently pregnant women are at an increased risk for severe illness from COVID-19 compared to non-pregnant women,” says the report. “Additionally, pregnant women with COVID-19 are at increased risk for preterm birth and might have an increased risk of other adverse pregnancy outcomes.” These risks are the reason why many intended parents hope to find a vaccinated surrogate – for her safety and the safety of the child. Luckily, these dangers are preventable, thanks to the COVID vaccine. The COVID vaccine and reproduction But does the vaccine have an effect on pregnancy or reproductive health? According to experts , there is “no plausible reason — no medical or scientific mechanism — for this vaccine to interact with a woman’s reproductive organs or have any interaction with an egg that’s been released or fertilized.” The American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), “remains steadfast” and committed to vaccination , stating that “COVID-19 vaccination is recommended for women who are contemplating pregnancy or who are pregnant to minimize risks to themselves and their pregnancy. ASRM also released a recent study confirming that there is no indication that the Covid-19 vaccine could cause female sterility. Here at Donor Concierge, we continue to encounter surrogates and intended parents who are concerned about the safety of the COVID-19 vaccines. So where did this worry come from? According to experts at Johns Hopkins , misinformation spread that confused the COVID spike protein and a protein involved in placenta growth. This “false report said that getting the COVID-19 vaccine would cause a woman’s body to fight this different spike protein and affect her fertility.” However, the experts explained that the Coronavirus spike protein and the spike protein involved in placenta development during pregnancy "are completely different, and getting the COVID-19 vaccine will not affect the fertility of women who are seeking to become pregnant, including through in vitro fertilization methods.” The COVID vaccine and pregnancy Information on vaccine safety for pregnant women has been harder to find than for the general population. According to the CDC , the way the vaccines work in the body means they “are unlikely to pose a risk for people who are pregnant.” The CDC also noted “limited data on the safety of COVID-19 vaccines in pregnant people.” This limited data was due to the fact that pregnant women were excluded from initial clinical trials of the COVID vaccine. Since then, though, more data has become available around COVID vaccines and pregnant women. Over 130,000 women in the U.S. who received the COVID-19 vaccine while pregnant or breastfeeding have joined the V-safe registry . Initial findings from that registry show no safety concerns from the vaccine. How to talk about vaccination The COVID-19 pandemic has been devastating, and we understand why there is fear and tension around the subject. When it comes to tricky topics like this, communication is key. Your surrogate’s agency and your Donor Concierge case manager will act as a liaison for this discussion, so that both sides can voice their opinions. “We are seeing a lot of surrogate candidates who do not want to get vaccinated,” says Gloria Li, Program Director. Meanwhile, many intended parents are requesting that they match with a gestational carrier who HAS had the vaccine. "Our goal is to make sure everyone is on the same page," Gloria continued, "which means that it may take a little longer to find a good fit." Intended parents can’t make a surrogate get vaccinated, obviously – it is a personal decision that each individual must make. The COVID vaccine and surrogacy contracts Lila Seif, attorney at New Family Fertility Law , weighed in on the legal decisions involved in surrogacy and COVID vaccines. “If a Gestational Carrier does not wish to receive the vaccine, she cannot be forced to do so,” Lila said. “However, Intended Parents can absolutely require that they only match with a vaccinated Gestational Carrier, and this is a critical factor to consider when matching the parties. If a Gestational Carrier agreed in the contract to receive the vaccine and later refused, this again could not be forced upon her. However, to the extent that her breach of that term caused damage, she theoretically would be responsible. For this reason, it's recommended that if vaccination is important to a particular Intended Parent, they should be matched with a Gestational Carrier who is in fact already vaccinated.” As for the contracts? While both parties are reviewing contracts, Lila recommends “to be very clear with the matching agency on their position regarding Covid lifestyle issues, including vaccination status, social distancing considerations, and other relevant factors.” She walks her clients through concerns, and asks them to “discuss the medical risks with their trusted physician so they can better explain their position and concerns with a matching agency.” With her gestational carrier clients, she also “reviews the contract in detail about these issues to be sure they are comfortable.” Remember it’s a team effort In the surrogacy process, the pregnancy becomes a team effort. So intended parents and surrogates need to be on the same team! Both of you are bringing this child into the world, and everyone’s opinion matters. Knowing where you stand on key issues like vaccination will help you decide whether a candidate would be the right surrogate for you. Lila agrees with this, explaining that the goal with surrogacy contracts is to “come to a fair agreement that makes all parties comfortable.” We hope this helped as you navigate through surrogacy during the time of COVID-19. Remember to listen openly, communicate clearly, and keep in mind that your surrogacy journey needs to be a team effort. Good luck!

The holiday season is a time for family. And for those who needed extra help to become a family, telling their children about their family story can seem daunting. Experts recommend telling your children about their unique conception as early as possible and finding a book to explain it is a good way to start. Whether you're looking for a gift that celebrates a loved one's family, or a way to talk with your child about your own, we've got you covered. Read on for our list of some of our favorite books  about unique families! Spectacular You: An IVF Love Story by Kate PacheSpectacular You: An IVF Love Story is a wonderfully crafted book that lovingly explains in vitro fertilization (IVF) to children through the eyes of the parents. It explains to children the magic of their unconventional conception and the overall desire the parents had to bring that child into their lives. Beautifully illustrated and tenderly written, this story is a must for any child who was conceived through IVF. Happy Together: An Egg Donation Story by Julie Marie (Author), Ashley Lucas (Illustrator)Happy Together, an egg donation story, is a heartwarming book to help introduce the concept of egg donation to a young child. A story told through clear language and cheerful illustrations, readers will join Mommy and Daddy bear on the journey to fulfill their greatest wish of becoming parents. With help from a doctor, an egg from a special lady called a donor and Daddy’s seed, a baby grew in Mommy’s tummy and was welcomed with great joy. The Pea that was Me: An Egg-Donation Story  (Volume 1) by Kimberly Kluger-Bell (Author)Struggling with how to tell your child about their egg donor? This acclaimed children's picture book (3-5 years old) makes it incredibly easy to start talking with your child about the special way they came into the world. Your child will want to hear about "the very kind egg donor" over and over again! Join parents worldwide who use The Pea That Was Me as a way to begin the on-going conversation about donors--reading and re-reading its extremely positive message about how much they were wanted by their parents and how lucky they were to find such a wonderful "helper." A Tiny Itsy Bitsy Gift of Life, An Egg Donor Story by Carmen Martinez Jover (Author), Rosemary Martinez (Illustrator)A touching children s egg donor story about a happy couple of rabbits, Pally and Comet who have everything in life except a baby bunny, you accompany them in their longing for this child, the waiting and the moment the mother is informed she has no eggs to conceive. One day a good lady rabbit brings her a tiny itsy-bitsy gift of life, which is the egg, the half, she needs to conceive. The rabbit s tummy then begins to grow and finally her baby bunny is born and the happiness of how this family is formed is shared. The book is very colorful and ideal for children even before they can read, because the pictures are so full of details it easily captures the child’s attention. Miracle by Jason Pinter (Author), Cheryl Crouthamel (Illustrator)An inspiring, funny, and heartwarming story for everyone who has dreamed of having their own Miracle child. When rabbits Merle and Pearl meet on one beautiful day, they know that they have found true joy. Yet while they couldn’t be happier with each other, there’s one teeny, tiny thing missing...a child of their own. Merle and Pearl dream of expanding their nest by bringing a baby bunny into the world, but they face unforeseen challenges along the way. Determined to make their dreams come true, Merle and Pearl will do whatever it takes to find their Miracle—even if it means going deep under the sea, trekking across vast desert sands, or rocketing far out into the stars. Because sometimes finding your dreams takes a Miracle. Untraditional You: An IVF Story by Mallory BelvilleOne couple dreams of becoming a Mommy and Daddy, but when things do not go as planned, they will stop at nothing to make their wish of having a baby come true. With the help of science and in vitro fertilization, they will finally receive the miracle they’ve always wanted. Through simple poetry and beautiful watercolor illustrations, this heart-warming story answers the age-old question “where do babies come from?” even if they arrive in an Untraditional way. Phoebe's Family: A Story About Egg Donation by Linda Stamm and Joan Clipp | Nov 1, 2010Phoebe's mom tells her the wonderful and unique story of how she came into being through egg donation. Along the way, Phoebe hears about the challenges her mom and dad faced in trying to have a baby, as well as the ultimate good news of her birth into a warm and loving family. The Family Book by Todd ParrThe Family Book celebrates the love we feel for our families and all the different varieties they come in. Whether you have two moms or two dads, a big family or a small family, a clean family or a messy one, Todd Parr assures readers that no matter what kind of family you have, every family is special in its own unique way. Parr's message about the importance of embracing our differences is delivered in a playful way. With his trademark bold, bright colors and silly scenes, this book will encourage children to ask questions about their own families. Perfect for young children just beginning to read, The Family Book is designed to encourage early literacy, enhance emotional development, celebrate multiculturalism, promote character growth, and strengthen family relationships Welcome to the Party by Gabrielle Union (Author), Ashley Evans (Illustrator)Praised by fan-favorites including Hoda Kotb, Kim & Khloe Kardashian, and Jimmy Fallon!Inspired by the eagerly awaited birth of her daughter, Kaavia James Union Wade, New York Times bestselling author and award-winning actress Gabrielle Union pens a festive and universal love letter from parents to little ones, perfect for welcoming a baby to the party of life! How We Became a Family: Egg Donor by Bernard Villegas MD (Author), Teresa Villegas (Author)To build a family, first of all you need love. But how do you talk with your child about their in vitro origins? How do you tell your children they were conceived with the help of a donor?• Adding children to a family -making a baby- takes all the same parts needed to make any baby animal.• Knowledge of science and our bodies is a smart and beautiful thing.• This complex story is explained in an easy and positive way that children can accept and be proud of.This book is for couples who understand that their children's well-being comes from knowing how much they are wanted, who they are, and how they came into this world and into their family. Celebrating the story of your child(ren)'s donor origins through the simple act of reading can reinforce your family's journey of deep bonding and open communication. The Very Kind Koala: A Surrogacy Story for Children by Kimberly Kluger-BellThe Very Kind Koala is a charming picture book for young children which provides an introduction to surrogacy through the simple story of a koala bear and her husband who needed the help of a very kind koala to carry their baby in her pouch. Parents can begin reading this story to children as young as 3 years of age to begin the dialog about their own helpful surrogate. Love Makes A Family by Sophie BeerA fun and inclusive board book that features families of all kinds! Without putting the focus on same-sex parents, the book demonstrates that families come in all shapes and sizes, but what's most important in each family is that there is love. Each page starts with "Love is..." and illustrates a variety of ways that parents show love to their children, such as waking up bright and early with them, baking a cake for them, or finding the biggest puddles to splash in with them! Each and every one of our stories is different. And so are the conversations we have with our children! These books are a great starting point, but you can choose to have this conversation any way you want. And if you are curious about finding an egg donor and building your family this season, our team is always here to help.