Choosing An Egg Donor: 10 Lessons From the Front Lines
At Donor Concierge we have access to more egg donors than anyone in the world but, even with access to more than 20,000+ egg donor candidates, it can still be a challenge to find the ‘one’ egg donor who is perfect for building your family. This list is designed to help you navigate what can often seem like emotionally dangerous waters. It is designed to help you adopt a philosophy that we hope will allow you to move toward becoming a parent via egg donation.
Make sure you schedule time to review egg donor profiles as soon as you receive them. Appealing donor candidates are snapped up quickly.
Focus on donors who are currently available to cycle. Skip over those listed as in-cycle or unavailable or under review.
Don’t get on a waiting list for an egg donor. Your turn may never come. Many things can happen between now and a donor’s next cycle that cause her to decide not to continue donating.
If you do choose to put your name on a waiting list, keep looking for a donor who can cycle now. Don’t idealize the one who got away.
When you see a donor you like, contact the egg donor agency immediately. This will not obligate you to choose the donor but it will make the agency aware of your interest and give you the chance to ask questions. If you hesitate to contact the agency, another intended parent may choose her.
If your first choice of an egg donor is chosen by someone else, let go. She was not the one. Move on
Let go of the idea that there is a perfect donor.
When you choose an egg donor, you are choosing raw genetic material, not the donor herself. Your child will be a blend of genetics and parenting, becoming her/his own unique person.
When you find a donor that you like who meets most of your criteria, put a hold on her even if there is a fee. Consider doing this with at least two egg donor candidates. In the long run you will be glad that you did.
- Request that the agency send the donor’s profiles and, if she is a repeat donor, her medical records to your RE for review. Once you have your RE’s recommendation on the best choice for success, secure the donor with the agency by signing the contracts and paying all required fees.