Donors by Physical Traits

It is not uncommon for intended parents to say ‘I hate to say this, but I want a smart and beautiful egg donor.’

We all want the best for our children and we want them to be intelligent and accepted. We also want our children to look like they belong.

Finding the right look can be one of the hardest things for intended parents to define when they start searching for an egg donor. Your case manager will talk with you about your own physical characteristics, and help you hone in on what’s important. Maybe you want a tall egg donor because everyone in your family is tall. Your ideal may be a blonde egg donor, or a beautiful egg donor, or even an athletic egg donor.

How do I find an egg donor who looks like me?

At Donor Concierge, we encourage our clients to find someone who looks like she would fit into your family. That may mean that we find a tall egg donor or a donor with the same skin tone or hair color. She might look like she could be your sister, your cousin, or your aunt. We can’t find someone who looks exactly like you, but we can come close.

We encourage you to be open to a variety of physical characteristics in order to widen the choice of egg donors who may be presented to you. The narrower your search criteria, the fewer egg donors who will fit the bill. There are very few tall, blonde, genius, professional model egg donors.

Here are just some of the physical traits we can search by:

Body Type

Appearance

Can I find a donor with a specific blood type?

We have many intended parents who ask us to search for an egg donor based on blood type. While we encourage you not to focus on a specific blood type (which will limit your choices), we are sensitive to the unique needs of our clients. We understand that cultural issues may limit the donor blood type you are willing to choose.

Great Expectations: 'The Perfect Egg Donor'

Many of my clients at Donor Concierge have come to us after an exhaustive search for the ‘perfect’ egg donor. “We found the perfect one but she was already in cycle" is a story I hear a lot. To me, that means she wasn’t the perfect donor. Part of what we do is to help guide you through an overwhelming and often emotional process. Another part is to help you manage your expectations when it comes to finding a donor.

Our aim is to help our clients find a donor who is intelligent, has a good health history for both herself and her family, is of a similar look to the intended parent and most importantly, is willing and available to go through an egg donation cycle.

Of course there has to be some sort of criteria—there is no point in our case managers trying to match a 5’2” blonde Swedish donor with a 5’10” raven-haired Italian intended parent. Our goal is to find someone who looks like she could be a part of your family—a sister, a cousin—someone with similar body type, features or ethnic background and to help you manage your expectations of which donor is the right donor for you.

I have clients who will only consider donors with extremely high academic test scores. Sure, I CAN find a donor with an ACT of 31 or higher, but that doesn’t mean she will be the right donor for them. The team at Donor Concierge works with clients to understand that agency databases do not have a revolving door of extremely attractive, incredibly fertile donors with SAT scores off the charts, studying for Masters degrees at Ivy League universities. Of course these young women exist, but they may not be choosing to donate their eggs. Limiting your criteria so strictly will only rule out donors who could be ‘the one’.

One of the things I’ve learned in my years of working with Donor Concierge is that everyone is unique. There is no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to egg donation. While many intended parents want to find a donor that had the same SAT score as them, the exact same ethnic heritage or attended the same university, every donor comes to the process with her own set of unique qualities. We look at profiles of donors with an eye for the bigger picture and we encourage our clients to be open to many possibilities.

Just as America is a melting pot of cultures and ethnic backgrounds, so too are the opportunities for intended parents to match with healthy young women who have made the decision to help someone from afar, often without ever knowing anything about that family. Donors often haven’t had the same opportunities as many of our clients – they may not attend top universities or colleges, or live a fascinating life in an international city. Many are attracted by the compensation initially, but the majority of donors do realize that they are giving something incredibly precious, and unique—a small part of themselves that becomes a part of you.

Michelle Laurie, BJ, MSc, SRM
Michelle is a Sr. Case Manager with Donor Concierge. She has a unique sense of understanding and empathy for those struggling with infertility. After spending several years challenged with her own fertility issues, Michelle welcomed her son to the world. Michelle is passionate about bringing people together to match our clients with the most suitable egg donors.