How Do I Bond With My Baby When I Need A Surrogate?

Our clients often tell us that they are worried about bonding with their baby through surrogacy. We love this blog by Lullabelly founder, Adrianne Godart, who has some wonderful suggestions. Godart, also a licensed massage therapist who focuses on prenatal massage, invented the Lullabelly as a way to combine her love for music and positive relaxation techniques. For more information visit on Godart visit the Lullabelly site.

by Adrianne Godart

Surrogacy can be a difficult for journey for many families, but if you have a good interactive relationship with your surrogate, the journey can be made much easier. There are several ways for parents to connect with their unborn child while it’s still in the womb.

One way to connect is through voice recognition. A prenatal expert once said that repeated exposure to its mother’s voice early on can bring notable benefits to a baby such as early bonding and laying a foundation for future learning.

Another way to connect is through music. Lullabies alone have been known to increase oxygen saturation levels and contribute to healthy sleep patterns and weight gain in newborns. Plus, music is a language we all understand and it can serve as a great way to introduce a baby to your musical preferences.

So how can the intended parents bond with their baby during a surrogate pregnancy? Here are two suggestions:

Share Your Voice. Just because you aren’t carrying the baby doesn’t mean your child can’t be exposed to your voice. When visiting your surrogate, talk to your baby and allow it to get to know your voice.  But since you can’t be with your surrogate constantly, you can also record your voice and talk to your baby that way too. Once you record your voice, give your surrogate a prenatal music belt and encourage her to play your voice to the baby when you’re not there.  You can read books or sing songs too.  Include voices for Dad, Grandma and other VIPs too.

How to record your voice: Most Windows programs come equipped with Sound Recorder. To record your voice, go to the Start menu, click on All Programs then Accessories. You can then select Sound Recorder and record your voice. You can also use Vocaroo (http://vocaroo.com/) to record your voice.

Share Your Music. Along the same lines, try creating a song list of tunes you want to share with your baby. Again, encourage your surrogate to play these meaningful songs to your baby when you’re not there. This is a terrific way to bond over your favorite songs, artists and playlists.

Bonding with your unborn baby can be easy to do through voice and musical sounds. Talk to your baby often and share your favorite tunes too – your baby will begin to develop a connection and bond with you even before he or she is born – and that bond is one that is sure to last a lifetime!

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