Leaning In While Considering an Egg Donor (Part 2)
Now, let’s fast forward your life to the happy scenario of finding the perfect egg donor and having a successful pregnancy and delivery. You may want to be a stay-at-home mom or not as not everyone wants to be or can afford to be a stay-at-home mom. I had initially wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and did so for a few years. But, when you’ve been working and are suddenly at home with a baby—no matter how much you wanted and love that baby—it’s a big adjustment from your work-a-day life pre-baby. It’s wonderful but it can be exhausting and boring since you may find yourself without adult conversation most of the time.
When I first re-entered the workforce I found that 20 hours a week was ideal for me since I could have some grown-up time and I could be home with my kids. I was able to have ‘mommy hours’ where I worked part-time while my kids were at school and was home with them when they were home. Not all careers support this work dynamic but I’m thankful that mine did. I now offer the same type of hours to my staff in the hope that they will be able to be with me for the long term.
One of the reasons I went back to work was I was thinking ahead to when my kids would eventually leave home. I wanted to make sure that I would have a life of my own for me and for them. I wanted to be a role model for both my son and my daughter to see that while I’m their mom first, I’m also a professional woman who is helping others outside of our family. Now that my children are grown I realize that we as women often spend the first part of our lives planning who we will marry, when we will have kids, and where they will go to college but very little time planning our lives after our children are grown.
Woman live much longer today than at any other time in history. We have more opportunities than our mothers and grandmothers ever had. Rosie the riveter was an icon for woman of my grandmother’s generation when factories needed woman to leave the home for the war effort. When men returned after the war, the message flipped to encourage women to leave the jobs they had grown to enjoy and return home so that men could fill those jobs. If Rosie were around today, I’m sure she would be Leaning In. Rosie can still be an icon for us today. If we Lean In, continue our career throughout our family building struggles and child-rearing years, we can have both career success and set an important example for our children.