Surrogacy: "How Can They Give Up The Baby?"
The most common reaction from those who are unfamiliar with the concept of gestational surrogacy is to ask the question “But how can they give up the baby?” As many women who have been gestational carriers will tell you, there is no ‘giving up’ a baby that was never theirs to begin with. Coupled with the fact that they are performing the ultimate ‘pay it forward’ act, but by giving of themselves to help form a family for someone who may never have had that possibility.
Many people have a difficult time thinking outside of their own reality especially one that is so well entrenched in tradition. Most think in terms of the their own families – “I could NEVER give up my baby” is common for those who don’t know about surrogacy. The truth is that surrogates can’t imagine giving up a child either. In fact, it is precisely because they do love their children that they choose to help others.
Surrogacy turns the theory of giving up a child on its head. In essence it is the intended parents who are giving up their baby to the surrogate for 40 long weeks. The surrogate is a long-term baby sitter. She is a wonderful woman who has taken excellent care of her own children and now has agreed to take excellent care of the intended parents’ child from conception to birth and then returning the child to his or her parents.
The relationship that is built is one of caring for the intended parents and anticipating, and relishing in, their joy when the child is born. When pregnant and carrying one’s own child, the focus is on the child. For a surrogate, the focus is on delivering a child into another family. She and the intended parents are on this journey together and they bond through all of the ups and downs that are part of any pregnancy. Handing over the child to his/her parents is a joyful moment for all involved in this most special of journeys. For the surrogate, the knowledge that she is able to give her intended parents what they have been longing for, is one of the most satisfying moments of her life.