What Mama Didn’t Tell You About Infertility (but Kim K did)

The desire to become a parent can be a very primal instinct. Traditionally, fertility struggles have been kept quiet because of the stigma attached to what many people consider a simple process . “My mom never told me,” comes to mind, when the “secret” is kept.

That “secret” is out now, in part thanks to a plethora of celebrities who have gone public with their fertility struggles, and telling the stories of what they went through to become parents.

And we’re thrilled. Take our former first lady Michelle Obama. It was very brave of her to share her fertility struggles in her book, “Becoming.” By being so open with IVF, it can be so much easier to connect to the former first lady and hence feel as if there is hope on the horizon. “See, it can happen to anyone,” is often the reaction and tends to lessen the stigma. Michelle Obama’s story also highlighted the particular struggle faced by women of color when dealing with infertility.

And then of course, there is Kim Kardashian West, who has perhaps, provided the most openly detailed account of her fertility challenges, documenting her surrogacy journeys for all. Kim says, “I grew up with so many siblings. I just loved being in a big environment… It was all worth it”. After two difficult pregnancies, Kim has shared her trials and successes in using a gestational surrogate to have her last two children, Chicago and Psalm. Like her or not, Kim K opened the doors to people who may have found themselves suffering in silence, embarrassed to talk about something so intimate as their inability to carry a pregnancy.

Now the internet is full of options - new surrogacy agencies, self-help blogs, fertility coaching services - how do you decide where to go? Donor Concierge works with anyone trying to have a baby – older women who may have been through numerous IVF cycles, second marriages, single men and same-sex couples. We’ve helped everyone from high profile celebrities to teachers, firefighters and construction workers. Because infertility can affect anyone, no matter your background or social demographic.

In the words of Gail Sexton Anderson, “I founded Donor Concierge to create a safe place to explore the myriad of decisions in finding a donor or a surrogate. It’s an overwhelming process and people waste precious time and money trying to navigate it on their own.”

So, thank you Michelle, Kim K and others for letting the secret out.

(photo from Kim Kardashian Instagram)