Baby Steps To Finding An Egg Donor
How DO you choose the best egg donor for you? It seems easy at first – someone who likes like you, lives near your clinic and is healthy? Soon, many intended parents become bogged down in the finite details of individual donors and come to us, overwhelmed by the decision making process and worried that 'the one' just isn't out there.
Think again. As corny as it may sound we are all far more unique than we realize. When it comes to choosing an egg donor you can desire anything you want but you can’t have everything you want all in one person.
Here are a few guidelines:
• Choose a donor who is healthy and has a good family health history
• Make sure she is available to cycle now not some time in the future
• If she is a first-time donor, ask to have her ovarian reserve checked
• Make sure she can travel to your clinic
• Choose a donor who looks and feels like they could fit into your family
• Find someone who you like for who she is not because she is just like you
Out of the six guidelines, the first three are must haves from a medical perspective. But if that were all future parents cared about all intended parents would be able to find egg donors from their clinic’s database. For most of our clients, it’s finding an egg donor that feels “familiar” that gets them to let go of their genetic connection so that they can go to cycle. They want to feel a connection to the young woman who is taking their place in the family genetics. Many intangible characteristics help future parents feel they are ready. While we are always checking the donor’s health information, it is the look and feel that helps the prospective parents to decide they can let go of their reservations.
Start with your ultimate egg donor wish list. Then decide what qualifications are the must-haves or deal breakers and which are the nice to have or icing on the cake.
A client came to us with a lengthy ‘must-have’ list of his perfect egg donor – she had to be Jewish with an SAT in the 90% from a top 30 college. While many Jewish women are bright and highly educated, those with SAT scores in the 90% rarely sign up to be egg donors. There are bright young women who have excellent scores, but they may not be Jewish. Many intended parents may then decide qualification is of greater importance to them. For some, the egg donor's Jewish heritage is more important while for others it’s the academics.
When you start to review profiles, you will quickly realize which of these qualifications is going to be the deal-breaker or the icing on the cake. Your Donor Concierge case manager will help you see all those candidates who come close to your desired criteria and ultimately, help you make the best choice for you and your family.
