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Egg Donor Journey: Brian and Jerry's egg donor search

Posted in LGBTQ+ on June 15, 2021

Brian and Jerry are a Donor Concierge couple who worked with us to find the egg donor of their dreams. We connected with them after they landed in Idaho to undergo retrieval and spoke about their fertility journey, experience with Donor Concierge, and more. We are huge fans of them, and can’t wait to see them grow their family. (If you want to contribute to their building journey, go here!)

Did you know much about the fertility process beforehand?
Jerry:** I didn’t know much about the process, other than what my parents told me. I was an IVF baby myself – I was a test tube baby! I think that’s why it’s so easy for me to talk about. I wasn’t made the normal way, so this is normal to me.

What has your journey to build a family been like so far?
Brian: It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. We started two years ago and were going to use a known donor, but it didn’t work out.
Jerry: But it’s okay because we found Donor Concierge, and you all helped us find a donor.
Brian: Right – during quarantine, I decided I needed to start researching how all this works. I began speaking to lawyers, and we started looking, but Jerry was being picky! I heard about you all on a podcast, and then we signed on with Donor Concierge.
Jerry: I was a little picky. I wanted to find someone who fit our energy. Since we were meeting this person through their profile, I was hoping your team could find what we were looking for! You guys interpreted it really well, and were able to get us a list of great matches.

What were you looking for in a donor?
Jerry: We were initially planning to freeze both our sperm and just trying to find an egg donor that would fit our family. After genetic testing, we decided to go with mine and started looking for a donor that looked more like Brian.
Brian: He has such strong genes – you should see his family! So we were looking for someone more like me, a blonde blue-eyed egg donor, but we knew we really just wanted someone who would fit our family.

Genetic testing can bring up difficult emotions. That type of choice is hard. How do you feel about that now?
Brian: It was emotional. As hard as it was to give that up, I was happy, too. Because the genetics don’t matter, it’s still our child.

How did our team help support you in your search?
Brian: Nancy was on top of it. We checked through the donor profiles each night as they were added to our portfolio.
Jerry: It was awesome – Nancy shared profiles and we let her know what qualities we were leaning towards. Within two weeks we were deciding between our top candidates, and then we were done in three weeks.

So where are you now in your journey?
Jerry: We’re cycling with ICRM in Idaho, and they’re awesome. They really wanted to make sure we felt welcome and comfortable flying out here.
Brian: Our donor is cycling soon, and so far her FSH is through the roof. We’re really excited. It’s going to happen!

Do you have any advice for hopeful parents who are starting this process?
Brian: If I could go back and tell myself, I would say: Start with Donor Concierge. Because it’s not easy. Signing up with a ton of agencies or clinics and searching all of them isn’t easy.
Jerry: No, it’s more stress that you’re putting on yourself. When you’re committing the money to this process, it’s worth it to take the stress off your shoulders. Just do it, because you want it done right.

Brian and Jerry are fantastic, and we are so happy to have helped them start their family building journey. We’re looking forward to sharing even more of their story with you, and we can’t wait to see them become dads. They are currently fundraising to cover the rest of their family-building process, so if you’d like to support them, their GoFundMe is here!

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