Finding A Sperm Donor
“Today is insemination day! We are so excited and so grateful that we found the perfect donor. We just wanted to write to tell you again just how grateful we are to you both for making this possible, and to let you know that you are in our hearts on this very special day. Thank you.” - Lauren and John
Words like this mean the world to us. Even after 15 years of helping intended parents start their families, knowing we have found the perfect sperm donor (or perfect egg donor, perfect surrogate… you get the picture!) for our clients never gets old.
We’re best known for finding the perfect egg donor or top surrogate for our clients, but we
kickstarted our Sperm Donor Search offering years ago to offer the same value to couples like Lauren and John. Fertility issues are often seen as a “women’s problem,” but infertility affects men and women equally. Often, there are years of “unexplained” fertility issues before couples begin their sperm donor search. And even then, finding the best sperm donor can be difficult!
In Lauren and John’s case, they realized they needed to pursue sperm donation due to John’s genetic carrier status. When starting a third party fertility cycle, whether donor egg or donor sperm, the first thing you need to do is undergo a series of genetic screening tests. At Donor Concierge, we say that “everyone is a carrier for something.” Often, genetic carrier status is harmless and won’t pass on serious problems or conditions down the line. But we’ve also worked with many hopeful parents who needed to find a sperm donor or egg donor to avoid serious genetic issues.
After learning more about John’s genetic status, Lauren and John quickly accepted that donor sperm would be part of their path to parenthood.(FYI, if you’re searching for a sperm donor and struggling, that’s totally normal and resources are available!) We got to work right away.
Lauren and John had done some searching on their own before they came to us to find a sperm donor. They had questions: “Can you see pictures of your sperm donor? Can you see sperm donors’ current photos? How do we choose a sperm donor? Is there a way to get more information on sperm donor profiles?”
In truth, looking for a sperm donor is different than looking for an egg donor. Sperm donor profiles can be more limited. They often only include baby/early childhood photos and don’t have the videos or long-form answers that give parents a true sense of their donor’s personality. We are committed to finding the absolute best sperm donor candidates for our clients, and luckily have the ability to search all of the FDA-approved sperm banks in the US.
Lauren and John were looking for a sperm donor that they liked on a personal level and someone who shared physical traits similar to John’s. Tall, blonde, educated sperm donor. Should be easy, right? Well, the search for their top sperm donor was actually a little complicated!
When Lauren and John were searching on their own, they ran into roadblocks. They found a sperm donor they liked but over a weekend, the donor’s sperm vials were bought by another intended parent. They were hoping to find someone with a robust history of academic success - John is a civil engineer with an Ivy-league education but they also needed to address some specific genetic health issues that were discovered during Lauren’s genetic carrier testing.
A Donor Concierge sperm search consultation
We started by having a video consultation with J and L, to get to know them and for them to get to know us. Their case manager Cynthia, an expert in donor sperm searches, talked to them about what they were hoping to find in their sperm donor, what traits would help them feel connected to him and where they were in the journey so far.
Giving up the genetic connection to a child and pursuing sperm donation can be fraught with complicated emotions. For men in particular, it’s not something that is often talked about.
For John, a family history of a major illness meant that any child he produced is at risk of severe health issues. This was something that he and Lauren discussed. They decided that by using a sperm donor, they could avoid this issue and still have the family they’d been planning since they met.
Finding a Sperm Donor
Lauren and John were working with Cynthia Lim, one of our sperm donor specialists, who carefully reviewed all of the sperm donor profiles listed with our partner sperm banks. This meant going through hundreds of profiles and creating a portfolio of sperm donors that meet the requirements of our hopeful parents. We look at everything: genetic carrier status, ethnicity, height, academic achievement. Because we know our clients so well, we can very quickly identify sperm donors who could be the best sperm donor for our client families.
We presented 49 different candidate profiles to Lauren and John.
Lauren and John went forward with the best sperm donor for their family, with the confidence that they’d done everything they could to choose the best match.
Now we wait for the results of Lauren’s pregnancy test… sticky thoughts as they say!