How to Survive Mother's Day with Infertility

Posted in Resources & Support on May 7, 2021 by Donor Concierge

Mother’s Day is coming up, and it can be a painful time for many of us. Whether you are starting your fertility journey, grieving a loss, or just dealing with another day of fertility struggles, Mother’s Day can bring with it a lot of emotional baggage. This year, we’re sharing tips from our expert team that will hopefully help ease your burden.

Acknowledge how you’re feeling
You aren’t silly. You’re not overreacting. You don’t need to just “get over it.” Infertility is difficult, and grief and trauma are difficult to process. Whether you’re struggling or feeling surprisingly OK, it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid.

You don’t need to dwell on your emotions too much if you don’t want to, but understanding how you feel will help you to ultimately feel better. Take stock of where you are before you make a plan for your day.

Reach Out or Stay In
If you’re struggling with Mother’s Day, it might help you to reach out. You can lean on your support system of friends, family or a partner and talk through your feelings. You could also reach out to the infertility community, where thousands of other men and women are experiencing similar struggles. Whatever you choose, there’s no shame in letting others know that you need support.

Alternatively, you may feel better holing up for the day and sitting with yourself. The greeting cards, decorations and families out and about can be triggering, so it’s perfectly normal to want to stay in. Don’t feel guilty spending the day “off the grid” if that’s what makes you feel best.

Don’t Compare
Many experts recommend taking a break from social media on Mother’s Day. We all know that our feeds will be flooded with happy families as everyone (and their mother!) posts their celebrations. We definitely recommend taking a break and avoiding the overload. But even if you do find yourself scrolling, keep in mind that social media is not reality.

We never really know what’s going on behind the scenes, and everyone’s highlight reel needs to be taken with a grain of salt. So if you’re scrolling through your friends’ posts this year, just remember not to compare.

Find Your Comfort
We’re all different, and we all have different sources of comfort. Today is a great day to tap into yours, whatever those may be. Spending time with your loved ones, having a pamper day, or cuddling up with your favorite movies – whatever you like to do to treat yourself.

Today is the day to show yourself compassion. Acknowledge your feelings and plan the best day for you, but also acknowledge how far you have come. You’re going through something difficult, and you’re doing the best you can. We’re proud of you, we’re celebrating you, and we’re with you.

Donor Concierge Blog

Welcome to Gail's Blog! Gail launched Donor Concierge in 2006 to provide intended parents with greater choice when searching for an egg donor or surrogate. Our Blog retains her voice, and our company retains her philosophy & ethics. We invite you to learn about finding an egg donor, finding a surrogate mother and the fascinating world of fertility.

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