Are You Overwhelmed By Your Egg Donor Search?

Posted in Finding An Egg Donor on July 28, 2011

I'm seriously thinking about working with you. Apparently my clinic prefers local donors but will work with those that travel. This is all so overwhelming.

All clinics prefer local donors.  Working with a local donor helps because your clinic can handle everything but if you can't find a donor that you can relate to then you won't fell comfortable moving forward with your cycle.  Therefore, all clinics will work with donors outside of their local area since the goal is to have you feel comfortable moving forward.  Please read ‘What is a Travel Cycle and How Does it Work?’
This article explains how a travel cycle works (if you choose a donor that lives out side of your clinics geographic area.

One concern I have is that if I work with an agency directly, they say that they will look for donors that are a match to me - even if they aren't on the site yet. Would I be missing out much by not going direct?

Having worked within agencies for many years I have had a lot of experience in running ads for couples looking for specific characteristics in an egg donor.  I found most of these campaigns to be fruitless.  Often those who respond to the ads don't truly fit what the couple is looking for and if they do they often have not given the decision to be an egg donor a lot of thought.  Too often, I have found that they get cold feet and then don't return calls.  Therefore never wind up in cycle and leaving you back at square one.

That is why I prefer to work with agencies.  The candidates they have recruited have done their homework, been interviewed and have a better understanding of what they are agreeing to do.  Even if the agency is successful this process can take a very long time.  They tend to be less inclined to get cold feet and leave you disappointed with no real recourse.

I just found a donor on an agency site that I really liked but they said she is committed for her 4th and 5th cycle and if she did a 6th it would not be until after January. Frustrating.

Never get on a waiting list!  No matter how perfect a donor may seem.  Egg donors are free agents you can't make them follow through on a commitment to do a future cycle, and since no one can predict the future it is a dicey bet.  An egg donor may have every intention of doing a future cycle but I have seen 101 issues come up where they don't move forward with a future cycle.  If you put your name on a waiting list only do it if you are going to keep looking.  Then if everything lines up perfectly you can cycle with that donor.  Just remember there are well over 14,000 egg donors across the country (that I have access to) and there is no such thing as a perfect donor.  The only perfect donor is the one you have a child with.  If the donor that you think is the perfect donor seem to slip through your fingers it was not meant to be.  You will have the child that you were always intended to have but not with that donor.

I am so overwhelmed already and just trying to get through this. Tears come easily with all this as I am sure you know. What are next steps if we do use Donor Concierge?

The next steps are when you are ready, you will have an in-depth conversation with us about who you and your spouse are, and what is important to you in an egg donor.  Next, you'll fill in an intake form, and tell us a little more about what you are hoping to find in an egg donor and your own background.  We'll ask to see pictures of you and your spouse.  We require payment before we schedule and start your search.   Next, we'll schedule your search with one of our Case Managers, who will explain how your search will be conducted and what you can expect.  But in the meantime let me share with you my latest blog post. I hope this is helpful.  Never push yourself to move forward before you are really ready or you will be even more overwhelmed and stressed and that doesn't make for a good cycle.

Donor Concierge Blog

Welcome to Gail's Blog! Gail launched Donor Concierge in 2006 to provide intended parents with greater choice when searching for an egg donor or surrogate. Our Blog retains her voice, and our company retains her philosophy & ethics. We invite you to learn about finding an egg donor, finding a surrogate mother and the fascinating world of fertility.

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