Pregnantish Podcast: Single mother sperm donation
We partnered with Pregnantish to share diverse stories of conception, pregnancy, and parenthood - including single motherhood via sperm donation
We are proud to partner with the Pregnantish podcast this week to support diverse stories of conception and parenthood. Donor Concierge has worked with clients from all walks of life pursuing egg donation, sperm donation, and surrogacy to start their families. We greatly appreciate platforms like Pregnantish who are normalizing conversations about third-party fertility and celebrating the stories of so many modern families.
This week’s episode was part of Pregnantish’s National Infertility Awareness Week series, “The Reality of Infertility.” This podcast series is diving deep into the fertility stories of beloved reality stars, including Caroline Lunny and Kendall Long from the Bachelor franchise and Golnesa Gharachedaghi from Shahs of Sunset.
On this week’s episode, host Andrea Syrtash spoke with Golnesa Gharachedaghi about her journey to single motherhood through sperm donation.
Golnesa's journey began years ago, and Golnesa remembers the desire she felt to have children starting at a young age. However, she says she is glad she did not start a family sooner, when she wasn't ready and was struggling to "take care of myself."
When she went through IVF for the first time, however, she experienced a devastating, life-threatening miscarriage that led to the removal of her fallopian tubes. At the time, she said she tried to find the logic in the experience, thinking maybe she had pushed her body too far when she was young and was now feeling the effects. But her doctors disagreed, stating that there was a less than 1% chance of this occurring with IVF.
Golnesa describes the reasoning her doctors shared, saying, "Possibly because I have an inflammatory disease, which is rhemutaoid arthritis... my fallopian tubes might have had contractions from inflammation... I was so shocked. I remember feeling this pain." She continues, "I remember being nervous. They said you may have spotting, cramps, whatever... I called my doctor and said I have this pain, and I'm in fetal position trying to drive on the freeway."
Her doctor recommended she go to the emergency room. Once there, Golnesa was immediately prepped for surgery. "Not only had my embryo gone into my fallopian tubes, becoming ectopic, but it had ruptured." She describes having to sign papers "that I'm aware that I'm sterilizing myself." She recalls asking her doctors before the surgery, "Are you sure I can still get pregnant after this surgery?"
The experience was hard for her to process. She says, "I look down every now and then and see the three incisions," but continues, "I try to find the light in it." After recovering from surgery, Golnesa called her doctor and said she wanted to try again.
Golnesa was determined to start a family as a single mother. Golnesa says, "When you're younger, you're like, 'if I don't have a kid by this age, I'm going to do it on my own.' It's easy to say that. It's very easy to say that." She continues, "About 7 years ago I transitioned my life in a significant way into being a person with intention in everything that's happening. I realized - I'm not good in intimate relationships. I thought about the intention of having a child and I felt like I was whole enough to have a child. I didn't need another partner in the picture, it didn't matter to me. Should I get married so society won't judge me? F*** society."
I became more aware of what the intention was for me to have a child. The intention was to do something right an serve a better purpose... I felt like I was whole enough to offer that to a child. When have I ever cared about society? Let me go call the nearest sperm bank.
Andrea agrees, saying, "That is a growing trend. You are not alone. single men call us at Pregnantish wanting to starting a family. And they say, 'If love comes, it comes. But this is my greatest goal.' And there is no higher-stakes goal for so many people than having a baby and being a parent."
Golnesa describes the support she experienced from her family when pursuing single motherhood. She says, "to them it was like, 'we know you're not good in relationships. We know that. We know you love children and you have your life together. We support it.'" She brought up her autoimmune disease and the chemotherapy she was going through, and her parents gave her full support.
However, Golnesa also describes some who criticized her decision. She says, "Some of my friends said, 'how could you do that to your child?' And I said, 'Excuse me? What do you mean?'" She spoke with the friend about his own experiences with his parents' divorce. She adds, "I said, 'I don't want that possibility. I don't want to risk that fraction.' Could there have been an amazing father? Yes. But that wasn't the goal. The goal was to create life and give love." Ultimately, she has no regrets.
I look down at my son now, and think, everything must have happened for a reason. I'm so appreciative of him. I'm so appreciative of my process. It had to be this way.
We work with parents of all kinds pursuing third-party fertility to start their families, and we have worked with many single mothers by choice to help them find the best sperm donor candidates possible. If you are looking to start your family through sperm donation, our team of experts is here to help.
Interested in learning more? Schedule your free consultation today.
