The Ideal Donor: A Note to Potential Egg Donors
Couples are looking for someone who feels familiar to them; someone who will fit into their family. They may have a few characteristics in mind but, the most important, is to find someone they like and feel good about. Couples want someone bright, kind, thoughtful, and reasonably attractive who understands the process and is willing to follow through cooperatively. That is the “ideal donor.”
Donor applications tend to be rather long and may be boring for you to fill out but please be totally honest and above all be yourself. That said pay attention to spelling and grammar. We have all become a bit lazy in these two areas with text messaging but how you present yourself is will leave a lasting impressing. Couples have thousands of choices when it comes to viewing donors you don’t want them to dismiss you because of careless errors on your application.
Couples are about to make the most important and difficult decision of their lives. Not being able to have your on biological child is devastating. It can take couples years to get to the point where they can consider egg donation as a positive choice rather than a dreaded consequence of infertility. Most intended parents have been very successful in everything they have done in their lives up to this point. Now when it is their hearts desire to form a family their body has betrayed them and they have to morn the loss of their own biological child that they have probably been dreaming of all of their lives.
That is where you come in. You can offer them a beacon of hope. But what they want from you is to feel like they know you. How you can help them with this is to answer your questions thoughtfully. Give complete answers to your questions so they can feel they have some insight into who you are a person. In a sense they are adopting your characteristics into their family and they want to feel like you fit. They want you to feel familiar. The only way you can do this is to be yourself not what you think they want you to be. You can’t anticipate what will make them want to choose you. You are a wonderful unique individual just as they are.
I tell couples when they pick an egg donor to look for someone that they like and feel they can relate to someone who they would like as a friend or a daughter. That’s what they want, so be yourself.