Why Intended Parents Want What They Want?

Posted in Donor Concierge on December 1, 2010 by Donor Concierge

Most intended parents don't think that they are hard to please. What they don't always realize is that the traits they value most in themselves and in their friends may not be found in abundance among egg donors.

What they want is someone they can relate to. But, what if the intended parents both have PHDs from Ivy league Universities and come from a long line of Ivy League graduates - won't their sites be set on an ivy league egg donor who went to the same school as they did?

What if they need a sperm donor, too? And what if both parents are tall with blonde hair and blue eyes - do they restrict their search to tall blonde egg donors? What if the intended parents are of royal heritage? What if the intended parents are from a wealthy family in a country where third party fertility is forbidden and, due to their families religious beliefs, they need you to search back three generations to make sure everyone has brown eyes and brown hair and the donor herself must have type O blood?

I have worked with all of the situations I've outline above, as well as many more, and in each case I was able to find what the intended parents were looking for.

Every intended parent has a different and moving story. In each case what they want is the same...a child. Often intended parents who have high expectations are judged for setting their hopes too high or trying to make a 'designer baby'. These parents will love the child they are blessed with. What they hope for most is a child who will feel at home in their family, not to feel that somehow they are different. Just like on Sesame Street, "One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong." Everyone knows what it is like to feel, at one time or another, that they don't belong. What parent wouldn't want to protect their child from that (or any other) painful feeling?

The most important thing for intended parents is to love their child for who they are. As I mentioned, we all have our moments of feeling that we may not belong or that we are different from the rest of our family just by virtue of who we are and regardless of our genetic makeup. When we are loved, we feel we belong. When our children are different from us, we need to celebrate their uniqueness regardless of our child's genetic origins.

Donor Concierge Blog

Welcome to Gail's Blog! Gail launched Donor Concierge in 2006 to provide intended parents with greater choice when searching for an egg donor or surrogate. Our Blog retains her voice, and our company retains her philosophy & ethics. We invite you to learn about finding an egg donor, finding a surrogate mother and the fascinating world of fertility.

* denotes mandatory fields

This site uses cookies, pixels and other similar technologies, as further described in our privacy statement. By using our site, you agree to our use of cookies. If you have any questions or would like to opt-out please contact us here.